


Mapped Out

by TAFKAmayle



Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:16:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 31,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23744431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TAFKAmayle/pseuds/TAFKAmayle
Summary: Jeremy Dooley, AKA Rimmy Tim, is an acrobatic outlaw who accidentally happens upon the Fake AH Gang, the deadliest, craziest gang in the West. While he tries to put distance between them, they insist on pulling him in.TW: This fic contains a Ryan Haywood character.Shout out to Caliope for helping me with the Spanish!
Comments: 122
Kudos: 143





	1. Chapter 1

Jeremy realized too late that he’d ridden right into hell. He’d already hopped onto the train, opened the cargo car’s door, and stepped inside before he was faced with hell in human form. Namely the Wanderer and Mogar the Wolf. 

Jeremy was frozen for a moment, just staring, eyes and mouth wide open. They stared back, but they looked more confused than utterly shocked and terrified. Jeremy’s heart pounded in his chest. It wasn’t just two members of the FAH Gang, the deadliest gang in the west, it was two of the deadliest members of the deadliest gang in the west.

All six of the main gang were what you’d get if the devil fucked death itself then dropped the spawn off on Earth, but to be trapped in a small space with either the Wanderer or the Wolf? Well, Jeremy had fought off entire gangs that didn’t scare him half as much as one of them. And there he was, sweating like a hog, on a moving train with _both_.

“Wr-wrong train!” He announced, quickly spinning on his heel to hightail it out of there.

He’d fall to his death off the train before he let them get a hold of him. He barely made it two steps before the Wanderer had a blade to his throat. Jeremy might’ve pissed his pants if he hadn’t already relieved himself. Never rob a train with a full bladder.

“Y-you wanna check my-my ticket?” He suggested.

The Wolf snorted behind them.

“I like this fuckin’ kid,” he laughed, “C’mon, let’s take him to King.”

“Y-you don’t have t-to do that,” Jeremy stammered as the Wanderer grabbed the back of his collar, “You guys are busy, I like bein’ alive. You could just let me off at the next stop.”

Wanderer was _not_ listening as he dragged Jeremy through the cars. Jeremy continued to stumble over his feet and his words.

“Or m-maybe I’ll just hop off?” He tried as they passed through another cargo car, “Or just sh-shoot me in the face.”

“¿Quién es ese?” A voice piped up.

_Oh good, the Mexican Eagle’s here too._

“Un ladrón,” Wanderer answered.

“I hope that means innocent civilian,” Jeremy muttered.

“Ha! You really don’t,” Wolf assured him, “We don’t care for civilians.”

“In that case, I’m definitely not one of those,” Jeremy quickly corrected.

“Habla mucho,” Eagle grunted.

“Wh-what’s he saying?” Jeremy asked, nervously.

“He says you talk a lot,” Wanderer answered.

“Oh, um, sorry,” Jeremy apologized, “I’m a nervous talker.”

“What in San hell’re y’all doin’?” A gruff voice demanded as they drew to a stop.

Jeremy was roughly pulled around in front of Wanderer, though he didn’t let go. A sour looking older man with a curly mustache frowned at him. It was Geoff Ramsey, also known commonly as the Mercy King. Though he’d been called Left King, King Death, the Fake King, and many other rather ominous sounding names. Jeremy nearly fainted. If Wanderer and Wolf were two and three on his list of people who made him shit his pants, King was number one. 

“Hell’re you supposed to be?” He grumbled.

“Uh, on a d-different train, s-sir!” Jeremy sputtered.

“Oh?” King prompted.

“Y-Yes, sir!” Jeremy insisted, “D-definitely not the r-right train! Th-this one is-is occupied.”

“Wot’s he on about?” A British voice chimed in.

_Oh god. The Golden Kid’s here too. That means Red Rider’s the only one missing. No, wait. The train hasn’t stopped. He must be driving it. They’re all here. The entire gang._ Jeremy wanted to throw up.

“He’s tryin’ to get outta trouble, dumbass,” King grumbled, “Will you do your damn job?!”

“I did it!” Kid argued, “I wanted to see the fuss!”

“N-no fuss!” Jeremy assured him, “I w-was just on my way!”

King laughed, a barking sort of laugh that made Jeremy naturally take a step back. Wanderer grunted as he stepped on his foot.

“Oh god! S-sorry!” Jeremy cried, “Th-that was an a-accident! R-really I would n-never-!”

“Quiet,” Wanderer ordered.

Jeremy’s mouth snapped shut. He looked up at the skull painted fabric over his lower face and the piercing blues just above them. _Jesus, he really is as scary as they say._

“Whoa, look at jaws here goin’ silent over Wanderer,” Wolf laughed.

“Te gusta su boca, ¿eh?” Eagle added, sounding amused.

Wanderer cut him a sharp look and Eagle just laughed. Jeremy just stood in stunned silence. What the fuck was he supposed to do? He was surrounded by the FAH Gang on a goddamn _moving train._ Before any decisions could be made, the train whistle sounded and the whole gang started for the engine. Jeremy was dragged along for the ride, very unhappy with his current situation. As he’d suspected, Rider was at the engine, driving the thing. 

“Got a bit of a problem!” He shouted at them, “Cat wasn’t in position!”

_That_ certainly didn’t sound good. Which one was Cat? She must’ve been in the silent half of the gang. The side that worked without the big names on wanted posters. The more normal outlaws like Jeremy. Rider looked back at them and noticed him. The lower half of his face was covered, but the way his eyebrows came together seemed to indicate he was frowning. He glanced around like he was counting them up, then he squinted harder at him. 

“Now what do we do?” Kid squawked, “We hardly have anywhere to go! We’re headed straight into town!”

Jeremy was getting nervous under Rider’s intense stare. He looked around them at the landscape. The gang started bickering as Jeremy mapped the route in his head. There was a turn point not too far from them. He’d intended to be off the train by then. Speaking of. He glanced behind them. Herb was still keeping up as always.

“I-I can t-turn us off,” he muttered nervously, “I know wh-where the junction is. Th-then we can hit M-M...”

They weren’t listening. Time was running out. Wanderer was distracted translating Eagle’s words. If he slipped his coat, he could make a break for it and whistle for Herb. Herb could get him to the junction before they did. He took a deep breath. Rider was still watching him. _Slow down,_ he mouthed at him. Rider nodded curtly and Jeremy moved.

He slipped his coat and brought his fingers to his mouth, whistling shrilly as he ducked around Wanderer and ran for the car behind them. He leapt to the top and ran to meet Herb halfway. Wanderer was scary quick, seeming to be only a step behind him. Jeremy didn’t wait to give him a chance, leaping from the car to Herb’s saddle. He corrected his wobble as he landed on his feet and dropped into the saddle. 

“Let’s go, Herb,” he hissed, “We gotta outrun a train again.”

He dug his heel into his horse’s flank and ducked down. He spotted the junction pretty quickly. _Shit._ Were they gonna make it? Rider slowed the train somewhat, buying him time. He glanced at the man as they passed, winking with a mock salute. He refocused on the lever, grabbing rope from his saddle. He dropped it around the lever as they flew past and held tightly, preparing to flip off Herb’s back. 

The lever creaked as he flipped off Herb’s saddle. He grunted as he landed wrong, ankle rolling. But the track was switched. The train screeched around the corner and he heard whooping and cheering as they passed. He went a bit red as he waved. What an insane day he just had. Herb trotted back to him and he grinned.

“You did it again!” He exclaimed cheerfully, “The amazing Herb! What a sight to behold! Ladies and gentlemen, have you ever seen a more amazing horse?!”

Herb tossed his head proudly and puffed his breath over Jeremy’s face. 

“Phew! Or more amazingly bad breath?” He grumbled, “You know what’ll help with that?”

He fished around in the saddle bag and pulled out a few sugar cubes. Herb happily lapped them up out of his hand. Jeremy patted the side of his neck before sighing and hobbling over to retrieve his rope from the lever. His ankle throbbed with pain. It was a little worth it though, to hear a crowd cheering for him again. 

“The amazing flying Tim,” he muttered bitterly.

He limped beside the tracks, following the path the FAH Gang hadn’t taken. Herb nosed against his neck.

“You sure, partner?” Jeremy questioned, “I ran you pretty hard just now.”

Herb puffed a breath against his face. 

“Alright, alright,” Jeremy laughed, “Mother musta been a mule.”

He hopped up on Herb’s back, relaxing his injured ankle. As they started towards town, Jeremy glanced back at the junction. He wondered if he’d ever see the FAH Gang again. It was probably better if he didn’t. He shifted back forward and pulled the knife free from his vest. 

No doubt the Wanderer wouldn’t be very thrilled to find his knife missing. It was a pretty one too. He pulled it free of the sheath. The blade was sharp and shiny, dual-edged and the hilt looked to be bone of some sort. Carved on it was a skull. Jeremy shuddered, sheathing the knife again. 

The Wanderer was a scary son of a bitch. If it weren’t for King’s reputation as the Mercy King, Wanderer would be number one on Jeremy’s pants-shitting list. The thing about King Ramsey was that he liked to show “mercy” to his victims: he let them live. However, there was always a catch. King’s victims were often mutilated, missing appendages, or otherwise fucked up. The Wanderer on the other hand always killed his victims, often after torturing them for some time.

Jeremy was much more terrified by the idea of being forced to live with such a terrible incident still weighing on his mind. He shook his head, suppressing another shudder and slipped the knife in his boot. Better keep it safe just in case he did happen on them again. It might be the only thing that stopped him from getting a different knife to the throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom! Here’s that Wild West AU I kept teasing. XD
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant to find out how to get new chapters a day early!


	2. Chapter 2

“Thank you, gentlemen,” Jeremy laughed as he pulled in the pot, “I believe I could go one more hand, what d’ya say?”

They of course agreed, eager to try and get their money back. Jeremy lost this hand, as he always did when it was time for him to quit. He scowled, but played another hand that he also lost. 

“Hmph, well, can’t win ‘em all I guess,” he grumbled, “Guess I better be off anyway. The missus will be expectin’ me back and I gotta at least leave with what I came in with!”

He stood and wandered to the bar for one last shot. As if they could _smell_ his plans, two members of the FAH Gang walked in the door. He, along with everyone else, froze as the Wanderer’s ominous figure stood behind the Golden Kid’s much less ominous stature. Why did it have to be _him?!_ Jeremy kept his head down. 

“You, Andy Higgins, innit?” Kid called out, “We’d like a word with you.”

_Oh fuck. Please no. Please anyone but him. Fuck fuck fuck!_ Higgins stood and cautiously approached them, likely knowing exactly what they were after. _Bounty._ A bounty Jeremy was already prepared to collect. FAH Gang did not like when their bounties got snagged. Higgins followed them outside, but barely made it out the door before he collapsed.

Jeremy decided it was time to go. He leapt up and sprinted up the stairs to the brothel. No need to stick around to be caught as the one who poisoned their prey. Especially not with the Wanderer. Not only was poison his specialty, but Jeremy had stolen his knife. Jeremy didn’t want to get close enough to see those blues again. They still haunted his dreams as it was. _Beautiful, but terrifying._

He shoved open a window and ducked out, glancing around. He didn’t see anyone out back. Seemed less than smart, but what did he know? He put his fingers to his mouth and whistled. Herb raced around the corner and he dropped to his back, wincing as he mashed his balls on Herb’s saddle. He dug his heels in and rode towards the edge of town, only to find Red Rider waiting for him.

More likely he was waiting for Higgins, but he spotted Jeremy and tensed. He had rope in his hand, probably ready to lasso Higgins should he try to escape. Not good. Rider was the best rustler in the West. If he couldn’t lasso his target, he sure as shit could whip them. Jeremy shuddered. _Now is not the time to be thinking about whips._

He pulled Herb into a sharp turn and rode to the left, kicking up dust behind them. He could hear shouting behind him. Well, they’d figured it out. He kicked his heels. 

“Come on, partner,” he urged, “We do not wanna get caught by these fellas.”

He was not at all surprised when he got lassoed. He gripped Herb’s saddle, trying to hang on as Rider yanked, trying to pull him off. He slid, wincing and wheezing as his balls dragged across the saddle, but he held firm, urging Herb faster. Rider apparently turned around and started the other way, as there was suddenly a tugging match around Jeremy’s guts as he tried to hang on and Rider tried to pull him off. 

Jeremy couldn’t let go of the saddle to get the rope off. If he tried, he’d be immediately yanked from Herb. Rider was a strong son of a bitch, Jeremy didn’t doubt his ability to pull him and Herb if he decided to. 

He huffed, struggling a moment to try to wiggle the rope up his trapped arms. He was running out of time. The longer they stayed like that, the more likely one of them would just walk up and yank him off the horse. _What do I do?!_

He slipped further, nearly off the saddle now. He did the only thing he could think of: got his legs involved. He braced himself on his forearms and lifted his hips up. He wrapped the rope around his ankle and yanked it towards his ass. He watched Rider get yanked off his horse and nearly fell off his own as Herb was suddenly free to gallop away. He heaved himself up, getting his ass back in the saddle and pulling the rope off him with one hand as he held tight with the other. 

He groaned miserably at his aching balls, hoping they wouldn’t be following him. He didn’t think he could take any more crotch abuse. The bouncing on the saddle was enough as it was. Of course they did follow him. They were hot on Herb’s tail as he flew out of town. _Lord have mercy on my soul when I turn to worm food on this day. Amen._

“Herb, this may be it for me, partner,” he huffed, “Any second now, I’m gonna get lassoed again.”

He pulled his knife as he thought it. Best be ready this go around. _Okay, okay. Where are we?_ He cast his eyes around. _Ah, perfect. Hornet Forest._ He tugged Herb, sending him skidding off to the right. 

It didn’t surprise him that Rider’s horse was practically touching Herb’s tail, even after the sudden turn. He was called Rider for a reason. 

Herb jumped a fallen tree into the forest and flew through it, dodging roots and branches. Jeremy glanced over his shoulder to see Rider still on their tail. _Why the hell would he follow me into Hornet Forest?? I’m doubting my own judgement in coming in here._ Well, at least it looked like Wanderer and Kid weren’t following them in.

“Stop running!” Rider shrieked at him, voice shrill.

“No, thank you!” Jeremy shouted back.

“You cheeky little shit!” Rider yelled.

Jeremy’s eyes darted around until they spotted what he was looking for. _Nest._ The advantage of being a short little shit was how easy it was to pass under danger. Red Rider was the opposite of short. He seemed to be as tall as Wanderer, from what Jeremy had seen. 

“Alright Herb, this might hurt a bit,” Jeremy warned, “But better wasps than them, partner.”

He guided Herb under the nest, his head passing under it as they flew by. He grunted as a couple wasps stung his neck and head. Rider, too focused on and riding too close to him to stop, smashed his face right into it. He screamed, the high-pitched sound ringing through the forest. 

“I’m sorry!” Jeremy yelled back, “I really am!”

“YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER!” Rider screeched, “WHEN I GET MY WHIP ON YOU, YOU’RE GOING TO BEG FOR DEATH!”

Jeremy shuddered. His heart was pounding with adrenaline and that threat went straight to his cock. _Fucking whip._ His body flushed. _Come on, Dooley, keep it in the brothel. Fucking focus._ He shoved whipping imagery from his head as they made it out of the forest. 

“You alright, partner?” He huffed, “Get any pokes?”

He patted at Herb’s neck. He looked alright. Thank goodness. Jeremy hated Herb getting hurt. He glanced back to make sure there was no more pursuit before easing up on Herb. 

“And he does it again!” Jeremy called cheerfully, “The amazing Herb, folks! A specimen of absolute speed and strength! What a horse!”

Herb let out a snort as they galloped towards literally any place that wasn’t full of pissed off gang members.

~

Jeremy’s eyes went wide when he saw the contents of the wagon.

“Fish, get over here!” He shouted.

Fish stormed over.

“‘Scuse me?!” He growled, “Manners, boy!”

“Look!” Jeremy snapped, grabbing the man’s coat and shoving him around.

Fish knocked his hand off.

“What??” He grunted, “You got a problem?!”

_He did this on purpose?!_

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Jeremy demanded, “Stealing from the FAH Gang, are you serious?!”

“I ain’t afraid of the FAH Gang,” Fish huffed.

_Fucking moron! This is why I run solo! Fucking idiots all around me._

“Not afraid?!” Jeremy barked, “First of all, you damn well should be! Second, they’re the only gang left with any fucking integrity left! Third, we steal from people who can fucking afford it, not people barely better off than us!”

Jeremy caught the wild hook Fish sent at him.

“Oh fuck no,” Jeremy grunted, “You do _not_ want this fight.”

Fish sent his other fist at him and Jeremy caught that too. He twisted his wrists and slammed his boot in the guy’s guts, then sent his knee into his face. His nose broke and Jeremy shoved him away. He ducked the swing from behind and side-kicked the thrower in the sternum. He pulled a pistol and shot Fish.

“I’m fucking done, boys,” he growled, “If you know what’s good for you-“

He shot the second guy as he charged at him. 

“-you’ll get lost,” He continued, “No one’s takin’ shit from this wagon, hear me?”

The others retreated quickly. Jeremy walked around to the driver.

“Howdy?” He greeted.

“Seen better days,” the man huffed, “Axel. Who’re you supposed to be?”

“Rimmy Tim,” Jeremy answered, “Not hurt?”

The man shook his head. He had long brown hair and glasses. Certainly didn’t _look_ like he should be out here alone. 

“I’ll escort you the rest of the way,” he offered, “The hell you doin’ on a known bandit road? Without escort?”

“Fuck if I know,” the man grumbled, “My map has this marked as safe.”

He pulled out a map and handed it over. Jeremy pinched the bridge of his nose.

“This is so wrong,” he muttered, “Hold on.”

He flipped the paper around and pulled out his pencil. He quickly sketched the area correctly and handed it back over.

“There, now you should have it right,” he muttered, “Let me just get these guys up and we’ll get moving.”

Axel frowned, but folded up the map and nodded. Jeremy put the bodies up on their horses and tied them to the saddles. No doubt they had bounties and the horses as well would hopefully make up for the incident. He wasn’t keen on being on their bad side. 

He chatted with Axel as they headed into town. He wasn’t exactly a chatty guy though. It was more Jeremy chatting at him than anything else. They stopped once to relieve themselves and Jeremy walked up to the horses while he waited for Axel to get back. He gave them some carrots which made Herb nose at his neck.

“So greedy!” Jeremy laughed, “Can’t you share, partner?” 

He shoved his head away and Herb whinnied, puffing breath over him.

“Urk! On second thought,” he muttered, “Maybe you do need a breath freshener!”

He held out a carrot to him and Herb tossed his head.

“Yeah, yeah, you won,” Jeremy assured him, grinning as he pat his nose, “Your momma really was a mule, wasn’t she?”

The other horses whinnied and nosed at him as well. He laughed as he pat their noses. 

“You’re already a bad influence on your friends,” he joked, “Look at these naughty children. You’re all ornery.”

“Who the fuck are you talking to?” Axel questioned as he got on the wagon.

“Herb, Fire Hooves, and Patches,” Jeremy answered, “Better company than Axel the grouch.”

“Hmph.”

Jeremy patted their noses one last time before hopping back on Herb’s saddle. It wasn’t too long before they were in town. 

“I’ll drop the bounties and have them hold them for you,” Jeremy grunted, “You keepin’ or sellin’ the horses?” 

“Dunno,” Axel admitted, shrugging, “Just leave ‘em tied at the sheriff’s and I’ll send Wolf over. No doubt he’ll want to talk with you.”

“Alright then,” Jeremy confirmed, nodding.

He made his way over to the sheriff’s and dropped off the bandits. He glanced around, relieved to find neither Wolf or Axel outside. He quickly mounted Herb and urged him to hurry out of town. He _really_ didn’t want Wolf to get close enough to see he was the guy who stole Wanderer’s knife and basically dropped a nest of hornets on Rider’s face. He doubted that meeting could possibly go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy is bad luck incarnate. 
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant to hear about my own bad luck.


	3. Chapter 3

“Now this is just fucked,” Jeremy grumbled, “So much for integrity.”

He was tied to a headboard in a brothel. That was normal. Not normal? The woman with the whip suddenly opening the door to let in the Golden Kid who handed her some cash and moseyed on over to sit next to his hip. 

“Yeah, well maybe you shouldn’t retreat so goddamn much,” Kid huffed, “Keep runnin’ like a startled deer!”

Jeremy snapped the headboard and put the rope between his hand around Kid’s neck. 

“Who’s running?!” He growled, yanking back.

Kid choked, clawing at his arms. 

“Don’t panic, you’ll only make it worse,” Jeremy hissed.

“Th-They’re outside!” Kid choked out, “W-with y-your h-horse!”

“They’re _what?!”_ Jeremy shrieked.

He leapt off Kid to run for the window. He could hear Herb’s distressed noises. He jumped from the window and rolled, hopping to his feet and running towards the sounds. Rider was trying to calm him down, take a hold of him. He had a bit in his hand. Jeremy sprinted at him, skidding to a stop between them. He caught one of Herb’s hooves to the forearm as he lifted his arms to placate him.

“Herb, it’s me!” He cried, “It’s okay, partner! He didn’t mean it, okay?”

Herb neighed, stamping his feet. 

“I know, partner,” He soothed, “He just doesn’t know you, okay? He didn’t know, okay? Can’t kill a guy for ignorance, can we?”

Herb tossed his head, whining. Jeremy held out his tied hands, waiting for Herb to push his nose against them. He nosed his hands with a puff of air.

“There’s my partner,” Jeremy coaxed, rubbing his nose, “The amazing Herb back again. You good back there, Rider?” 

“Uh, y-yeah, I’m fine,” he answered, “Are you?”

“My arm’s broken,” Jeremy admitted, “’m fine. I’d love my clothes though. I didn’t exactly plan to be out here in my skivvies.”

“Kid, you’re something else,” Rider muttered.

Herb pressed his forehead to Jeremy’s and let out a puff of breath.

“It’s okay, partner,” Jeremy assured him, patting his neck, “I know you didn’t mean it. That hurt though. What’ve you been eating, _meat?”_

He carefully led him over to the nearby trough and patted his neck as he waited for them to bring him his clothes. He would’ve run for it if it weren’t for the fact Herb had a problem and Wanderer’s knife was in his boot. Eagle was nearby anyway, he’d probably shoot him before he got very far. It was Kid who brought him his clothes. 

“S-sorry, mate,” he mumbled.

_For what exactly?_ He cut through the rope between Jeremy’s wrists and Jeremy quickly pulled his clothes on, grunting and wincing with the bumps to his broken arm. 

“I didn’t expect you to run out here,” Kid added, nervously, “Your horse is a bit crazy, innit?”

Jeremy glared at him.

“Anyone would be after what was done to him,” he growled, “Don’t talk about shit you don’t understand, English.”

Kid blushed.

“S-sorry,” he mumbled, “Can you introduce us?”

Jeremy smiled, his heart softening a bit for the man. He seemed sincere.

“Yeah, c’mere,” he instructed, gesturing, “Just take it slow, okay?”

Kid smiled, nodding excitedly. Jeremy took one of his hands and placed it gently over Herb’s neck.

“Herb, this is the Golden Kid,” Jeremy spoke quietly, “He’s not gonna hurt you, he just wants to say hi.”

He moved Kid’s hand in a rubbing motion and Herb nosed at Kid’s chest. Kid jumped a bit in surprise. Herb blew a breath and turned away to lap up some water. Kid hesitated, glancing at Jeremy for approval.

“He’s decided he doesn’t care,” Jeremy assured him, “He doesn’t like you yet, but he doesn’t want to stamp your face in either. Just be gentle and talk to him.”

Kid brightened.

“I did it?” He squealed excitedly.

Jeremy laughed and ruffled his hair.

“Yeah, you did it,” he confirmed.

“Hey, asshole!” Wolf’s voice shouted, “Your audience with the king is now. Get the fuck in here!”

Jeremy sighed and moved around Herb, giving him one last pat and a stern “behave”. Wolf gripped his bicep and dragged him back through the saloon to a storeroom. He was roughly pushed onto a chair across from King, Rider, and Wanderer. He hissed as his arm was bumped. He stiffened when Wanderer approached him, but the man knelt down and began splinting his arm. 

“So, Rimmy Tim,” King spoke, “You’re a slippery little minnow.”

“Not slippery enough,” Jeremy grunted.

He shifted nervously. _Maybe not the best time for sarcasm._ Wanderer pulled away as he finished splinting his arm to stand next to King again.

“I-I don’t suppose you were looking for me for a nice reason?” He tried, “One without death or t-torture?”

“Yes, actually,” King laughed, “Much to Wanderer and Rider’s dismay.”

“We’ve been trying to recruit you,” Rider spoke up in a growl, “But you’re a hard to find man, even harder to catch.”

“Recruit me?” He grunted, “Why?”

“Because you’re good and we’re losing a member,” King explained, “Eagle has somewhere else to be in a few months and he needs to head out pretty quickly if he’s going to make it on time.”

“I...I’m _okay_ with rifles,” Jeremy answered, “But I’m nowhere near comparable to the Mexican Eagle. I can’t replace him.”

“You got that right,” Wanderer snorted.

“We don’t need you to be Eagle,” King assured him, “We need you to be you: Rimmy Tim. We need the acrobat with a vivid memory of the west.”

Jeremy looked down at where his hands still had rope on them.

“Did you have to kidnap me?” He huffed.

“Like I said, you’re damn slippery,” King grumbled, “And you’re a runner, always fleeing before we can explain shit.”

Jeremy launched at King, snarling, gripping his coat in both hands. His broken arm pulsed with pain that he ignored.

“We’ll see who runs when I kick your fucking ass, Ramsey,” he growled.

A heavy hand gripped his collar and pried him off. Jeremy struggled as Wanderer looped an arm around his middle.

“Fuckin’ try me, Mercy King!” He hissed, “I bet I can kick-“

“Stop,” Wanderer ordered.

Jeremy’s mouth snapped shut and he went limp, silently fuming. He had to stand on his toes with how Wanderer was holding him. His face went red and he tried really hard not to think about how tiny he suddenly felt. He crossed his arms and huffed.

“Magic,” Rider snorted.

“I’m sure you’ll get along with Wolf,” King teased, “Tempers are often the downfall of man.”

_I hate you._ King tilted his head at him, raising an eyebrow as though he was considering him. 

“Just now, you had Kid by the throat,” King pointed out, “Why’d you leave? You were winnin’.”

“‘Cause y’all didn’t know what Herb’s like,” Jeremy mumbled, “I couldn’t let you get trampled to death. And he needs me to calm him down when he gets like that.”

There was a long pause while King and Rider just stared at him. He felt like he was double sweating under their intense gaze. He was so fucking tired and his arm was throbbing.

“Why you keep runnin’, kid?” King asked, head tilted.

“I like all my limbs attached,” Jeremy answered dryly.

King barked out that laughter that made Jeremy want to jump back three steps. He pressed back against Wanderer, then jumped back forward.

“S-sorry,” he mumbled.

Wanderer didn’t say anything.

“So what d’ya say, kid?” King spoke up, “You joining’ up?”

“No, thank you,” Jeremy grumbled.

King’s eyebrows went up in surprise.

“Why?” He prompted, “What’s your complaint?”

“I don’t like you?” Jeremy suggested.

“‘S not what it sounded like from Axel,” Rider scoffed, “Sounded like you liked us a lot.”

“No, it sounded like he fucks horses,” Wanderer sneered.

Jeremy rolled his eyes. He’d heard this before. _Just because I have a connection to an animal, doesn’t mean I have to be fucking them._

“Trail’s not _that_ lonely,” He grunted, “Can I go now? You freaked out Herb, I wanna get out of town now.”

“Maybe you don’t fuck the horse, but you’re certainly married,” Wanderer snorted.

“Sure,” Jeremy muttered tiredly, “I just want to sleep. It’s past my bed time.”

“Sure, but first,” King started, pulling out a folded up piece of paper, “We need to hire you to do this.”

He unfolded it to show it was the map he drew for Axel.

“You want another copy of the map?” Jeremy grunted, “Why?”

“No, we need a full map,” King corrected, “As much as you can give us of the West.”

“Do you have any idea how long that would take me?” Jeremy groaned, slumping forward.

“Don’t care,” King answered, “We’ve had enough hardship over this damn lack of a map. And we’re done trying to hire any more fuckin’ liars. You’ll be stickin’ with us until it’s done.”

Jeremy frowned.

“What you mean is I don’t have a choice,” he guessed.

King winked. Jeremy dragged a hand down his face. _Great._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me @1stworldmutant for rambling and nonsense.


	4. Chapter 4

“Wanderer is now your warden,” King announced, “Everywhere he goes, you go. You don’t leave his sight. When we have the completed map, you’ll be free to go. Questions?”

“Can I ask for a different warden?” Jeremy asked tiredly.

“No, you can’t,” Wanderer growled.

"¿Lo quieres para ti?" Eagle spoke up, startling Jeremy who hadn’t seen him come in.

“¡Cállate!” Wanderer hissed at him.

Jeremy thought that was “Shut up”, but wasn’t totally sure.

“Can I sleep now?” He mumbled, “I’m tired and in no condition to start drawing. Plus you need proper supplies if you want me to do it right.”

“We’ll provide the supplies tomorrow,” King assured him, “You can sleep if Wanderer’s willing to take you to the hotel.”

“Hotel?” Jeremy mumbled.

“I’ll take him,” Wanderer grumbled, “I’m not going to be partaking in your celebration anyway.”

He released Jeremy’s waist, letting him down.

"¿Ansioso por llevartelo a la cama?" Eagle snickered.

“Cállate,” Wanderer repeated, voice cold, “Te arrancaré la lengua.”

Eagle snorted as they passed. Jeremy wondered what the fuck they’d been talking about, but was in pain and tired. Not to mention tense as fuck. They’d interrupted his stress relief and got his arm broken. _Assholes._

Wanderer dragged him outside and Jeremy checked to see Herb was okay. Kid was sitting on the tie post, chattering away while munching on something. Herb nosed at his torso with an impatient huff of air. Kid put his fists on his hips.

“I told you!” He grumbled, “I gave you all I had! You are a very greedy horse!”

Herb whinnied at him and Jeremy smiled fondly. He actually made friends with him. He started to walk towards them, but was stopped by Wanderer’s hand on his shoulder.

“What are you doing?” The man grunted.

“Going to get Herb,” Jeremy answered.

He’d sort of thought that was obvious.

“You need the horse to go bed?” Wanderer taunted, voice filled with amusement.

“No, I need him to be near me,” Jeremy growled, “In case he has a problem. Shouldn’t you want your own horse to be nearby for escaping quickly?”

Wanderer released him and followed him to where Kid was back to chattering. He brightened when he saw Jeremy.

“I think I did it!” He exclaimed, “I think he likes me!”

Herb nosed at his face as if to demonstrate and Kid giggled, pushing his head away.

“He’s ornery, isn’t he?” He laughed, “Are you guys goin’ to the hotel?”

“I think so,” Jeremy answered, “Well, have a pleasant evenin’, Kid.”

“Don’t you want drinks, Tim?!” Kid returned as he hopped down.

“I’m in a lot of pain,” Jeremy muttered, “I just want to sleep.”

“Suit yourself,” Kid replied, shrugging, “Evenin’, Tim. Herb. Wanderer.”

Wanderer untied his own horse as Kid wandered inside. Jeremy patted the dappled gray horse.

“What’s-“ he ducked down, “-his name?”

“Did you just look at my horse’s cock?” Wanderer asked, eyebrows up.

Jeremy rolled his eyes.

“I checked his sex,” He muttered, “What is with you and the horse fucking thing? I like horses, okay? You like knives. You fuck knives?”

“Knives are inanimate objects,” Wanderer pointed out.

“You can fuck inanimate objects,” Jeremy argued.

“Oh?” Wanderer prompted, “You have experience with fucking inanimate objects, little mouse?”

Jeremy went red and turned his head back to the horse. He didn’t want to talk about it. 

“Your partner’s a mean man,” he huffed.

The horse tossed his head.

“He says he knows,” Jeremy laughed, grinning at Wanderer.

“If you speak horse, then ask _him_ what his name is,” Wanderer suggested.

Jeremy threw him a glare.

“You’re mean,” he huffed, “Please will you just tell me his name?”

Wanderer didn’t speak as they made their way over to the hotel. Jeremy sighed, rubbing the horse’s nose. Herb nosed him indignantly. 

“Don’t get jealous,” Jeremy chided, “You’re still my partner.”

They stopped to tie Wanderer’s horse and Jeremy got a handful of oats for Herb. 

“Good work today, partner,” Jeremy gently praised as Herb ate the oats from his hand, “You calmed down quicker than ever. I‘m sorry I wasn’t there. I didn’t know they were gonna be there.”

Herb dropped his head, making a whiny sort of noise. Jeremy frowned, crouching down.

“What is it, partner?” He coaxed, “You tired? You can lay down here.”

Herb huffed and flopped down. Jeremy rubbed his hand over his neck. 

“What’s wrong?” He called softly, “What is it? You hurt?”

“What are you doing?!” Wanderer hissed behind him, “What’s gotten into you??”

Jeremy turned to see Wanderer’s horse fighting him. Jeremy scowled at Wanderer.

“Let go,” he instructed, “He’ll show you what’s wrong.”

Wanderer hesitated a second before releasing the reigns. The horse trotted over to Jeremy and nosed at his side. Jeremy stood and stepped away. The horse nosed at Herb and then flopped down next to him, laying his head over Herb’s neck. Jeremy’s eyebrows went up in surprise. 

“Herb! You made a friend!” He excitedly whispered, “I’m so proud of you!”

He backed away, not wanting to disturb them. He pressed his hands together, grinning widely. _A friend!_

“Now I have to stay with you,” he chuckled, “Herb’s never made a friend before!”

“He’s like you?” Wanderer muttered.

“Yep!” Jeremy answered cheerfully, “Friendless, broken little things we both are.”

Wanderer looked at him sharply.

“What, what’d I say?” Jeremy asked, finally turning from watching the horses.

Wanderer shook his head, looking at the two horses.

“His name is Ryan,” he grunted, “No one else knows that. If you tell anyone that, I’ll cut your tongue out.”

Jeremy swallowed, nervously eyeing the man, though he was very confused. Why was the horse’s name a secret? He just shrugged. _Oh well. Too tired to care._

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Ryan,” he greeted the horse cheerfully, “You’re very handsome. I hope we can be friends.”

Wanderer was staring at him again. 

“What now?” Jeremy grumbled.

“Nothing,” Wanderer huffed, “Let’s go in.”

“G’night Herb, g’night Ryan!” Jeremy called softly as they entered the hotel.

Wanderer led him up the stairs to a little room with two beds. He went for one and Jeremy went for the other. 

“Here, chew this,” Wanderer muttered, holding out a few leaves to him.

Jeremy took them, only a little nervous as he put them in his mouth. They were bitter, but he obediently chewed them as he started getting undressed. He pulled his boots off carefully, the knife reminding him he still had it. He glanced over to Wanderer who was dropping his coat and vest. _Should I give it back? Maybe he didn’t notice._ Wanderer unhooked his belt and dropped it on his coat. 

“Just because I’m so much bigger than you,” he muttered, “Doesn’t mean I’m a horse. Stop staring, mouse.”

Jeremy jerked his eyes away, refocusing on removing his own clothing. 

“Though we did interrupt,” Wanderer commented, “I guess it’s to be expected you’re a bit... _frustrated.”_

“The trail is _definitely_ not that lonely,” Jeremy snorted.

Wanderer snorted, not saying anything else as he climbed in bed. Jeremy finished getting to his skivvies and moved to blow out the lantern.

“Spit first,” Wanderer instructed, pointing to a spittoon.

Jeremy spat out the leaves before blowing out the lantern and crawling in his bed. 

“Oh god, this bed is so soft,” he groaned, “Forget sex, this is better.”

“Don’t get into many soft beds, huh?” Wanderer snorted.

“No, ‘m penniless, hopeless, helpless,” Jeremy murmured into the pillow.

Wanderer didn’t speak again and Jeremy quickly fell asleep as the pain in his arm dulled somewhat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *grumbling troll noises*  
> I am so tired.  
> @1stworldmutant   
> Please.


	5. Chapter 5

Jeremy groaned as he was jostled.

“Up, mouse,” Wanderer growled.

He cracked an eye to sleepily glare at Wanderer who was already fully dressed.

“Did you wear the mask to bed?” Jeremy muttered as he sat up.

He winced at his broken arm as he heaved himself up.

“Yes,” Wanderer answered, “You need a bath.”

“Okay, ow, rude way to say I stink,” Jeremy huffed, “But my clothes are just as-“

He looked around.

“Where are my clothes?!” He demanded.

“Cleaning, here,” Wanderer grunted, shoving a pile of fresh clothes at him, “You’re like a wild mountain man. You are nasty. Let’s go.”

He gripped Jeremy’s arm to drag him away. Jeremy grabbed his boots as they passed. Jeremy wanted to complain that he’d just bathed the day before, but truthfully a bath did sound nice. He’d only bathed in the stream as usual. Wanderer pulled him into a bathing room and pushed him onto a stool. He took the fresh clothes back and laid them aside. 

“Hold still,” he muttered as he came forward with a set of shears. 

Jeremy stiffened as Wanderer trimmed his unruly beard. It wasn’t mountain man levels he didn’t think. He looked at the Wanderer’s mask. 

“What does your beard look like?” He mumbled, trying not to jar his face too much.

Wanderer’s blue eyes flicked up to meet his and Jeremy swallowed. 

“Stubble,” He finally answered, “I have lightly colored facial hair.”

His eyes flicked back down to where he was working.

“The opposite of yours,” he added.

Jeremy tried to picture it. Yeah, the idea of it sounded right, but he couldn’t conjure up the image. His fingers twitched. He wanted to try to draw it for some reason. After his beard was to the Wanderer’s liking, he trimmed his hair as well. Then he hauled him to his feet.

“Now clean yourself quickly, mouse,” Wanderer ordered.

He shoved Jeremy at the filled up tub and stepped outside. He glanced at the door before moving to the window. About as he expected, Eagle was standing guard near Herb. He waved up at Jeremy with a smug little smile. Jeremy flipped him off before returning to the tub in the center of the room. It was going to be a tiresome time spent with them, wasn’t it?

After bathing, he did his best to carefully dress himself around his arm and frowned into the mirror at the finished product. He looked... good. Sharp, clean, even a bit classy. Brown trousers and light yellow shirt, with a nice snug brown vest and a deep plum coat. They even got him a new belt with a holster and a really nice belt buckle. It had a silver horse set on a golden oval with curly leaf patterns on the edges. It clearly cost a small fortune. It certainly wasn’t something he’d normally get himself. The last piece of clothing in the pile was a good pair of brown gloves

He looked like he really had joined up. 

The door opened as tears leaked out of his eyes. He quickly swiped them away as Wanderer approached him. The man had obviously seen him starting to cry, but said nothing. Instead he pulled something from behind his back and squashed it onto Jeremy’s head. _A hat._

“What was the point of a nice hair cut, if you’re gonna cover it?” Jeremy grumbled, pushing the hat up so he could see properly. 

Their forms in the mirror almost made him flinch. They looked like a complimentary pair. _Dark and light._ Like Wanderer was his shadow. Wanderer’s blue eyes shone brightly from under the brim of his own darkly colored hat, staring right at his in the mirror. He stepped closer to him and pulled a gun from the back of his trousers. He flipped it around one finger before holstering it on Jeremy’s belt, all while his eyes stayed locked with Jeremy’s. 

“The AH Gang has some advantages,” he commented lightly.

“You want me in now too?” Jeremy grunted, “Not still mad at me?”

“I don’t like cocky little shits,” Wanderer admitted, “Especially ones who are merely lucky enough to catch me off guard to get away. But now King wants you with us, so rest assured little mouse-“

He leaned down to speak in Jeremy’s ear.

“-you will never slip me again,” he finished in a whisper that sent a shiver down Jeremy’s spine.

“O-okay,” Jeremy squeaked for lack of anything witty to reply with.

Wanderer’s eyes sparkled in the reflection, his mask shifting. Jeremy thought he could be smiling. 

“Well, let’s go,” he muttered, standing up straight again, “They’re all very eager to see you looking civilized.”

Jeremy blushed, though he wasn’t that sure why he suddenly felt embarrassed. He followed Wanderer down the stairs and outside where the whole crew was gathered around. Wanderer stepped aside so they could all stare at him and he glanced up at the man for approval. Wanderer nodded, gently guiding him towards the others by the small of his back. It’d been awhile since Jeremy had been on display. He stiffened as he recalled it. 

“You look sharp, Tim!” Kid spoke up first, “Clean up nice, don’t he?”

“Yeah, sure, I guess,” Wolf huffed, turning away.

"Si que lo has acicalado,” Eagle snorted, “¿Es de tu gusto ahora?"

"Sigue hablando y verás que pasa,” Wanderer growled. 

“How you feelin’, kid?” King asked, ignoring them, “Arm okay?”

Jeremy shrugged.

“It’s only broken,” He muttered, “It’ll be fine.”

He glanced at Herb who was nosing against Ryan. Ryan nosed back. _I really can’t leave. Look how cheerful he is._

“Looks like he could use some boots though,” Rider chimed in gruffly.

“No!” Jeremy shouted, head snapping back to them, “I’m fine! Th-these are fine!”

It seemed like Wanderer hadn’t noticed the stolen knife, he couldn’t risk Wanderer seeing him move it. He didn’t want to incur the man’s wrath. The gang all looked at him in startled confusion. He cleared his throat, glancing back at Herb. His body twitched like it wanted to make a run for it. They were all staring intently at him. 

“Anyway, Wanderer has some business,” King announced, “So Eagle will be taking you to the store to pick up anything you might need. Don’t worry about cost, we’ll supply the money.”

Jeremy nodded as Eagle came forward and gestured at him to follow. Jeremy paused at Herb and patted his nose. He was doing great that morning it seemed. Apparently Ryan was a calming influence on him. Jeremy smiled at the other horse and patted his nose too. 

“I’m going nearby, partner,” He informed Herb, “You just stay and be good, okay?”

Herb puffed air over him and proudly tossed his head.

“Don’t try to show off for your friend,” Jeremy snorted, “You’ll embarrass yourself.”

He rubbed his nose and continued to follow Eagle. The general store was only a few doors down and while not something overly impressive, did seem to be well stocked. He wondered exactly what King had meant, but Eagle led him to drawing supplies, silently answering the question for him. 

He quickly pointed out the things he needed for the map. Paper, pencils, ink, erasers. Eagle nodded to the owner of the store after each one of Jeremy’s choices. Apparently the owner wasn’t entirely sure that Jeremy had any authority, but Eagle had no idea what he actually needed. Jeremy could buy the entire lot and Eagle would have no clue he was exaggerating. 

Jeremy eyed a journal sitting among the other writing supplies. He’d never bothered to get one since every bit of his money went towards necessities, but damn, he did really want one. To be able to draw freely out there would be amazing. He rarely ever got more than a few pieces of loose paper to draw maps on. Sometimes he was able to scribble some drawing on the back of a spare piece of paper, but a whole book of empty paper? It sounded like a dream.

“¿Quiéres eso? ” Eagle spoke up.

“I have no idea what you said,” Jeremy pointed out.

Eagle pointed to the journal. Jeremy went a bit pink at being found out.

“It’s not needed,” he assured him.

Eagle raised an eyebrow at him, then turned to the owner and gestured at the journal. Jeremy hesitated, wanting to argue, feeling like he was taking advantage, but he _really_ wanted it. After pointing out a few more things for the map, he announced that he was done. Eagle gestured at the rest of the store.

“¿Necesitas algo más? ” He asked.

Jeremy tried to infer his meaning. _Do I need anything not map-related, I guess is what he’s asking._ He glanced through the store. He didn’t think so. Maybe soap would be a good idea, considering Wanderer told him he stunk. He pointed it out, blushing bright red and Eagle nodded, apparently agreeing with that sentiment. 

“You’re all very rude, you know,” Jeremy huffed as the store owner wrapped up their purchases.

“Sí, te acostumbrarás a ello, ” Eagle said in answer.

“Still no idea what you’re saying,” Jeremy muttered.

Eagle snorted, rolling his eyes. Jeremy took the package and the rolled up paper in the leather tube as the owner offered it. Eagle led the way from the store. Jeremy wondered where he was going, why he was leaving the gang. It wouldn’t be any use asking him though. 

“Join,” Eagle spoke firmly as they stopped at the horses.

“The Gang, you mean?” Jeremy clarified, eyebrows up.

“Sí.”

Jeremy frowned as he put away the items in Herb’s saddle bag.

“Why would you want me to?” He questioned, “Aren’t you bitter that I’m your replacement?”

Eagle snorted, shaking his head. He looked over where Wolf and Kid were wrestling. Or rather where Wolf was choking out Kid who flailed uselessly. He smiled fondly. 

"Mi familia,” Eagle spoke softly, “También pueden ser la tuya."

He turned to Jeremy, gesturing at him then towards the others.  _Family?_ Jeremy looked down the way at the “fight”. He seriously doubted that he would ever call them family. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were unsure if this was a sad story, this chapter exists.
> 
> Follow @1stworldmutant to never doubt that I’m a sad bitch.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Vague PTSD/flashback

Herb stayed level with Ryan for most of the ride. They kept nosing each other, much to Wanderer’s dismay as it kept jostling him and Jeremy together.

“We might as well ride together at this point,” He grumbled.

"O puede montarte a ti," Eagle spoke up as he trotted passed on Indigo.

"Acabaré contigo," Wanderer growled at him.

“How does he always show up in time to harass you?” Jeremy muttered.

“I’ve been asking myself the same question for years,” Wanderer muttered.

Jeremy snorted, glancing at him. As annoyed as he sounded, his eyes were sparkling as he looked at Eagle. _Mi familia._ They truly were a group of assholes who managed to get along somehow. Jeremy thought maybe once upon a time he could’ve hoped to fit with them. Now what he wanted was to fit into shadows literally anywhere else. The fewer eyes on him the better, even if he did miss being cheered on. 

_“The amazing flying Tim! Come on ladies and gents, let’s have a look at our man. Give us a wave Tim!”_

Jeremy shuddered. He didn’t want to remember, but his mind was like an unruly dog determined to dig up the memories he’d buried deep inside him. He pressed the heel of his good hand against his temple as his thoughts played against his skull like drums.

_“The amazing Tim, isn’t he a beautiful sight!”_

_**“Get out of my sight, boy!”** _

_“Our highest flyer, soaring above our heads!”_

_**“Bow your head, boy!”** _

_“Don’t forget his lively partner, Herb! What a gorgeous horse!”_

_**“I’ll turn that horse into stew if you can’t get it under control!”** _

Jeremy slapped his hands over his ears and squeezed his eyes closed. _Please! I’ll do better!_ Herb stopped and jostled Jeremy. He stomped his hooves and tossed his head. Jeremy lowered his hands and shook his head. His broken arm pulsed in pain. He found it oddly comforting. _Right, not there any more. We’re here. Free._

“Why are you stopped?” Wanderer grunted.

_Well, fre **er** than before._

“S-sorry,” Jeremy muttered weakly, kicking his heels.

Herb started moving again and Jeremy pat his neck as he guided him away from Wanderer, putting a few feet between them.

“Thank you, partner,” He whispered, “You’re the best.”

Herb tossed his head proudly and Jeremy laughed lightly. He decided to see if Kid had any sugar cubes when they got to camp. He hadn’t picked any up like he’d intended to. He rubbed Herb’s neck. _Sorry, partner, I got distracted._

~

Camp AH was practically a town. It was way more lively than Jeremy had expected. Many people chattered and moved around the place, some coming forward to greet the main crew. One man came forward to take Herb’s reins, confused when Jeremy didn’t have anything to give him. He frowned at Jeremy who hopped down.

“Sorry, this is Herb,” Jeremy explained, “He doesn’t do bits and reins. And he’s not a huge fan of new people. Just show me where to put him.”

“Right over there,” the man pointed, “He won’t run off like that?”

“No, he’s a good horse,” Jeremy insisted, moving towards where the others were tied up.

Wanderer dismounted and handed Ryan’s reins to Jeremy.

“Make sure they’re together,” he ordered gruffly.

Jeremy smiled at him and nodded before leading them away. At least he seemed alright with the horses’ friendship. He must have a soft spot in there somewhere. Jeremy hesitated, but tied Ryan’s reins off. He thought they were rather cruel for all horses, not just Herb. Ryan nosed his cheek and Jeremy smiled tiredly at him as he rubbed his nose.

“You’re a good horse too, friend,” he assured him.

He gave them both a carrot and retrieved his map supplies. With the leather tube on his back and a satchel at his hip, he made his way from the troughs to the main part of the camp. There were suddenly dozens of eyes on him and he shrank from their gaze. Where was Wanderer? 

He spotted him outside a large tent and moved towards him. He realized how strange it was that he’d trusted Jeremy enough to leave him alone for a bit. Jeremy nervously gripped the leather straps over his chest. Why were they all staring so much?

“Um, where am I supposed to set up?” Jeremy asked Wanderer.

“In here,” Wanderer answered, gesturing to the tent, “Not yet though. You have to wait for King to call for you.”

“S-so what do I do for now?” Jeremy mumbled, glancing at where the camp was whispering about him.

“Whatever you want,” Wandered replied, gesturing to the camp, “As long as it’s in camp and doesn’t hurt anyone.”

Jeremy nodded and made his way back to Herb. Herb and Ryan had laid down again, so Jeremy propped himself up against Herb’s back and pulled free the journal. He wasn’t sure why, but he started sketching King from memory as he waited. Of course complete with his signature curly mustache and top hat. It turned out he didn’t wear the hat and suit all the time. Jeremy assumed that it was reserved for bigger jobs where loads of people would see it. He was about done when Wolf came over and kicked his leg.

“Get up,” He ordered, “Your audience with the King is now.”

Jeremy pushed himself up and Wolf dragged him towards the big tent.

“Why are you mad at me?” Jeremy grumbled, “What’d I do to you?”

“Nothing!” Wolf snapped at him.

He pulled aside the tent flap and shoved Jeremy inside. Jeremy stumbled, nearly dropping his journal. He stuck it back in his satchel as he moved towards the long table. King and Rider were on the other side of it. Jeremy felt a cold chill and glanced over his shoulder to see Wanderer was sitting on a stool in the corner. Staring at him. _Again._

“Alright, here we are,” King announced, “Go ahead and setup, but you’re free tonight to rest. Eagle is leaving tomorrow morning, so the gang will be celebrating. You’re welcome to join us or just try to get some sleep. Wanderer will show you to your cot whenever you’re ready.”

“Tim, this map is more important than you know,” Rider spoke up solemnly, “It’s of the utmost importance to Fake AH that you get this map drawn. It’s our number one priority right now. We never wanted to force you to do this and you will be properly paid, but we need you to do this. We can’t let you go until it’s complete.”

Jeremy wanted to ask why, but thought better of it. He pulled the tube and satchel from his back and placed them on the table. King and Rider left as he rolled out the paper and pinned it to the table. He sketched out the outline of the territory he was familiar with. 

Everything was just called the West for now, but Jeremy wondered how long it would be called that. Surely once the land was mostly settled, someone would come up with something better. He hoped it’d be something ironic too like land of the angels or something. He definitely wasn’t going to live to see it though. 

“Eagle said something to you,” Wanderer spoke up, “After you left the store. What did he say?”

Jeremy didn’t look up.

“Told me to join,” he answered, “Said you guys were his family. The rest was too Spanish for me.”

Wanderer was quiet again for several moments while Jeremy sketched. Then he stood abruptly and advanced on him. Jeremy panicked and stumbled a bit as he approached. Wanderer picked up the journal and held it out to him. Jeremy frowned in confusion, but took it. Wanderer grabbed his upper arm and the lantern they were using. _What the fuck is happening??_

Wanderer dragged him out into the camp where everyone was talking and drinking. He sat him on a stool away from the others, but pointed at them. He put the lantern down beside him and leaned down to talk quietly in his ear.

“Draw him,” He ordered, “Eagle, draw him as detailed as you can. I will pay you for it.”

Jeremy frowned as he looked over at him, trying to figure out his game. The fire danced across the mask as he stared towards it. His eyes looked warm like that, like the sky on a beautiful, sunny day. Even the skull painted on the fabric looked warmer, softer. More like regular flesh. Without the hat on, Jeremy could see his soft brown hair, the loose tail over one shoulder, a few stray hairs fell across his temple. He looked beautiful. 

Wanderer turned to him, eyebrows coming together.

“Well?” He prompted.

Jeremy jerked his eyes away from him. _Eagle. Right._ He flipped open the journal and started, though his fingers itched to draw Wanderer instead. Wanderer moved away from him to go sit near Eagle. He didn’t talk much, but still somehow looked like he was having a good time. 

Maybe Eagle was his partner like Jeremy and Herb. If Jeremy was going to lose Herb, he’d probably want a drawing of him too. The way they seemed to really care for each other and enjoy each other’s company made Jeremy jealous. He’d never really been like that with a person before. He had started to sway tiredly by the time he finished up the drawing and signaled to Wanderer who came over to check the progress.

“That’s...amazing,” he muttered, “It looks just like him.”

“Thanks, I’m exhausted,” Jeremy mumbled.

“Alright, I’ll show you our tent,” Wanderer muttered.

Jeremy was surprised by the room in the tent. They could’ve fit at least three more of the cots in the thing, but it was just the two. Wanderer handed him leaves again that he chewed as they got undressed. He spat them out and crawled onto the cot with a grateful groan. It wasn’t the bed at the hotel, but it wasn’t the ground either. He fell asleep easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It occurs to me that I give all my characters PTSD cuz I have it. 
> 
> Follow @1stworldmutant for more depressing facts.


	7. Chapter 7

Jeremy woke up from getting jostled again and flipped off Wanderer.

“Too tired,” he grumbled.

“Kid made food,” Wanderer coaxed.

Jeremy’s head popped up to look at him.

“Food?” He prompted.

Wanderer laughed. Jeremy’s eyebrows went up. Wanderer’s raspy laugh hit him in the chest like a horse hoof. Wanderer ruffled his hair while he was still reeling.

“Hurry, little mouse,” He laughed, “Mogar will eat all of it if you’re not quick.”

He stepped outside the tent and Jeremy hauled himself up to a sitting position. Was Wanderer in a good mood? Did he have those? Seemed like he did that day. Jeremy considered it as he got up to pull his clothes on. _Maybe I should give him back his knife today. If he’s in a good mood, maybe he won’t get mad and kill me._ He figured he had to be missing it, it was such a nice knife. 

He made his way outside, glancing around the camp. It looked like everyone was already up and about. Many of the horses were already gone. Rider, King, and Eagle’s horses were all notably missing. _Eagle must be on his way then._ Jeremy made his way over to Herb and Ryan who were standing, nosing and nipping at each other. Herb tossed his head as Jeremy walked up.

“How’d you sleep, partner?” Jeremy greeted, rubbing his nose, “Or did you stay up all night playing?”

Herb whinnied, tossing his head towards Ryan.

“Don’t blame your friend,” Jeremy scolded.

He hopped over the tie post and dug in his bag for some oats. He rubbed his neck as he ate the oats from his hand. He looked at his glove-clad hand as it rubbed across Herb’s neck. He felt dizzy suddenly. He dropped his head to Herb’s neck and wrapped his arms him. Herb nosed at his shoulder with a puff of air. 

“I know...we’re fine,” he mumbled, “We’re free...ish.”

“You know, you really encourage these rumors,” Wolf grunted nearby, “You’re huggin’ your fuckin’ horse, man.”

Jeremy sighed, pulling away and patting Herb’s neck.

“You fuck the horse, don’t you?” Wolf taunted.

“No, I don’t,” Jeremy muttered, “Look at my height, I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Wolf snorted, “Must be the other way then. Your horse mounts you, eh?”

Jeremy threw him a dry look and the man laughed.

“You’re all assholes,” Jeremy grumbled, jumping the post again, “Be good, Herb. I’ll come see you later.”

Wolf followed after him as he made his way to where Kid was sitting at the campfire. Kid brightened at his approach. Well, maybe not all of them are assholes. Kid gave him a bowl of something that smelled good. Wolf bumped him, nearly knocking the bowl out of his hands. Jeremy threw him a glare as he moved to sit down. _The fuck is his problem??_

He watched Wolf out of the corner of his eye as he ate the hashed whatever Kid had given him. He leaned in and whispered something in Kid’s ear that made him blush and smack his arm. He grinned like a...well, like a wolf and pinched Kid’s cheek. They certainly seemed to be quite fond of each other. _Oh, I see. He must be very protective of him and worried I’m going to hurt him._ Jeremy looked down at his bowl. 

_If I did join, would they become protective of me as well?_ He thought of the fond looks they got on their faces when they looked at each other. They all really cared about each other. _Like...a family. Just like Eagle said._

Jeremy stood abruptly, dropping the breakfast without a second thought and quickly made his way to Herb who tossed his head as he approached. Ryan let out a huff of breath. Jeremy stopped in front of them, hand reaching for Herb, but halting. He closed his hand into a fist and dropped it. Wanderer was behind him in an instant, seeming to have sensed he had been about to run.

“Tim?” Wanderer prompted gently, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jeremy mumbled.

Wanderer stepped up beside him and gently squeezed his shoulder.

“It gets easier,” he assured him, “After awhile you’ll see who they are. You’ll get used to them. Their normal is strange, perfect for people like us.”

Jeremy looked up at him. His eyes were bright and sincere. Jeremy knocked his hand away, looking back at Herb.

“We are nothing alike,” he whispered, “There are no people like me.”

Wanderer sighed and turned away. 

“You’ll see, mouse,” he insisted, “It’s not something I can make you see. You’ll have to open your eyes on your own, but I promise when you do, you’ll see that there’s a whole gang of people like you.”

Jeremy doubted that very much.

~

King and Rider returned in the evening with supplies and the main six, or rather the main five now, gathered by the fire. Jeremy stayed in the tent, working on the map with the flaps open so they could keep an eye on him. After he was too tired to keep drawing, he went to the tent he was sharing with Wanderer and sat on the cot. He dropped his head into his hands.

As much as he craved human companions, it just wasn’t possible. He’d tried. Every time he got over his fear enough to get close to a person, he wanted to run for it. Ever since that first great escape, that was all he ever did: run. And he was so damn good at it, nobody could catch him. He thought he actually wanted to be caught, wanted to be forced to interact and connect to humans. Or maybe he just hoped someone would care enough to keep chasing him. 

He stood, scrubbing tears from his eyes. He was so fucking tired of crying. He pulled his clothes off and crawled under his blanket, curling up. His arm hurt too bad to sleep immediately, so he heard Wanderer enter the tent some time later. 

The man sat heavily on his cot and sighed. Then Jeremy heard the scratching of a nib on paper. _Wanderer can write? Interesting._ Jeremy wondered what such a man might write about at the end of a day. Would he write about what he said to Jeremy? Or maybe he’d write about Eagle leaving. He hadn’t seemed all that upset that day, though he’d seemed distressed when he asked Jeremy to draw the man the day before. 

“Should’ve had him draw everything,” Wanderer mumbled to himself.

_Everything?_ Jeremy wondered what he meant. Wanderer laid his journal down and started dropping his clothes. Jeremy did his best to force himself to sleep, but he didn’t until much later when he got too tired for the pain to stop him any more. 

~

Jeremy looked over the map with a sense of pride and satisfaction. He’d gotten everything penciled now and could finally start inking it. How many days had it been? He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t good with the passage of time. He thought maybe he should get a pocket watch. 

He was double checking over everything on the map when King entered the tent. He often came in to check progress. Other than Wanderer, he was the man Jeremy saw the most. Jeremy’s terror of the man had relaxed somewhat. Jeremy knew he wouldn’t hurt him, not as long as he was drawing the map anyway. 

“So Tim, what’s the word?” He prompted as he came forward.

“I’m ready to ink,” Jeremy answered, “Shouldn’t be more than a day or two now. Provided I don’t fuck it up.”

“So it’s sort of finished?” King pressed further.

“I suppose,” Jeremy muttered, “But without ink, it’ll fade very quickly.”

“Perfect!” King exclaimed, “Then we’ll have a celebration.”

“Y’all do love your celebrations,” Jeremy mumbled, “Is there any time you’re not tryin’ to have a party?”

“Nope!” King confirmed cheerfully, “Well, come on then!” 

Jeremy finally looked up. King was gesturing for him to follow him out.

“Me? Why?” He grunted.

“Celebration, ya idiot!” King laughed, “Take the rest of the day off.”

Jeremy looked at Wanderer in the corner for approval. Wanderer nodded and stood to leave as well. Jeremy hesitated still, but finally picked up his journal and followed them. Kid immediately greeted him cheerfully as they started towards the campfire. Jeremy smiled lightly and waved back at him. 

He squeezed the journal tightly to his chest. He’d been drawing at every spare second. His hand was starting to really hurt. It was a bit embarrassing really. He’d drawn the whole main crew at least once and Wanderer...he’d drawn him four times so far. 

One was the first time they met, with Wolf standing in front of him. One was the reflection of the two of them at the hotel when he’d leaned down to speak in his ear. One was the night he drew Eagle, when the campfire had warmed his cold expression. The last one, the one he hadn’t finished yet, was him sitting on the stool in the corner, watching him under the dark brim of his hat. 

Jeremy had found himself wishing he had a blue pencil. He wasn’t even sure where to find one, let alone the specific hue he needed. He glanced at Wanderer as they neared Kid. Little periwinkle petals trapped in ice, frozen and preserved for all time. 

Jeremy was so distracted he missed the foot that stuck out in front of him. He tripped. He shouted in pain as he tried to brace his fall on his broken arm. He landed on the journal and the pencil he was carrying snapped against the ground. He scrambled up to check the journal only to have it ripped from his hands.

“What you got there, Tim?” Wolf teased.

Jeremy scowled at him. The harassment from Wolf had only gotten worse as the days passed. 

“What is your problem?!” He demanded. “I haven’t done anything to you!”

“Mogar, what are you doing?” Wanderer growled, “His arm broken like that and you trip him? And ruining some of his supplies? Are you an idiot?!”

“No, but you are,” Wolf sneered.

He flipped open the journal and Jeremy went pale.

“N-no! Please don’t l-look at that!” He pleaded, “D-don’t!”

Wolf smirked at him and started to turn the journal around to show Wanderer what page it was open to. 

“No!” Jeremy screamed, suddenly tackling the guy.

Wolf grunted as they landed, the journal squashed between them. Jeremy fumbled, trying to grab the journal to close it and run for it, but Wolf shoved, rolling them. Jeremy put his arm up to block Wolf’s punch, hissing as it landed. The rumors about Wolf’s hits were true it seemed. He could in fact kill someone like that. _Lord have mercy on my soul when I turn to worm food on this day. Amen._

Wolf was ripped off him and Jeremy quickly snapped the book closed. _He almost saw the drawings!_ He scrambled backwards onto his feet and ran for it. _He can’t see them!_ He whistled for Herb to meet him halfway and leapt on his back. They flew out of the camp, but he wasn’t exactly surprised when Wanderer was on his tail in an instant. 

“It’s finished!” He shouted, “All it needs is ink! Just leave me alone!”

_Please, I can’t do this!_ Ryan whinnied and Herb tossed his head. He slowed down and Wanderer was able to catch up. _Herb, not now!_ Wanderer reached for him as their horses rode even with each other. Jeremy tried to duck his hand, but Wanderer still gripped his collar and yanked him off Herb. He pulled him onto Ryan’s saddle, quickly looping an arm around him. He pulled him flush against him and Jeremy struggled, trying to squirm away.

“Stop.”

Jeremy stopped struggling, squeezing his journal to his chest and his eyes closed. 

“I told you,” Wanderer whispered in his ear, “You’re never slipping me again, mouse.”

Jeremy choked on tears and gripped Wanderer’s arm with his free hand. Wanderer’s other arm went around him, holding him tightly.

“Please...d-don’t,” he sobbed, “I-I can’t...“

”It’s okay,” Wanderer hushed him, “I’ve got you...Tim...we could... we could use another copy of the map.”

“Another two weeks with you assholes?” Jeremy sniffled.

Wanderer squeezed him tighter.

”At least,” he murmured.

Jeremy rubbed at his tears. Another map. What a perfect excuse. What a perfect way to force him to stay. Herb whinnied in front of them, tossing his head and rearing back. 

“He thinks you’re hurting me,” Jeremy mumbled, pushing away, “I’m okay, partner. Relax.”

He slipped off Ryan’s saddle as Wanderer let go of him. Wanderer followed. Probably because Jeremy was just as skittish as a horse. Jeremy patted Herb’s nose as the sounds of four more horses galloped towards them. Wolf reached them first, immediately jumping off and storming towards him. Jeremy flinched as he stopped in front of him.

”I’m sorry,” he growled, “I didn’t mean to scare you off. I’m an asshole. But...you’re good and you’re fuckin’ tough. I...was wrong about you.”

Jeremy blinked rapidly, shaking his head.

”What the fuck?” He grunted. 

He looked at Wanderer who snorted.

”I think you made a friend,” he laughed as the others joined them.

“What, you’re not my friend?” Jeremy countered dryly. 

“Wanderer with friends?!” Rider shouted, throwing his arm around the man, “Not a fuckin’ chance.”

Wanderer grumbled as Rider shoved his hat down. 

“Tell us this asshole didn’t scare you off,” King grumbled, punching Wolf’s arm.

Jeremy looked at the bent up journal. He sighed heavily.

”No, but you owe me,” He grumbled, “I worked really hard on these! Look at yours!”

He showed the drawing of Wolf now with a crease down the center. Wolf’s eyes went wide and his face red.

”Oh...I-I thought...” he mumbled, “I didn’t realize...s-sorry.”

”You look better on paper, boyo,” Kid spoke up, “Show mine next!”

Jeremy went a bit pink as he showed the others each one praising him for how amazing they looked. Wanderer didn’t ask until the rest all had. He hesitated.

”Do you...is there one of me?” He asked quietly.

Jereny was bright red as he showed the drawing from Eagle’s last night. It was torn a bit. Wanderer’s eyes widened as he looked at it then darted away.

”Aw, why is Wanderer’s so much better?” Kid huffed, “Do you like him most?!”

”He sees him more, dumbass,” Rider pointed out, shoving his head down, “Obviously his is more detailed.”

Kid grumbled, batting away his hands. Jeremy looked down at the drawing. _Right. I see him more. That’s why I draw him more. Of course._ He swallowed nervously. _Obviously._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @1stworldmutabt for even less consistency.


	8. Chapter 8

Wolf was pink as he entered the tent. Jeremy looked up in surprise. Wolf never visited when he was working.

“Wanderer, take a walk,” he grunted, “I need to talk to Tim. You need a bath anyway.”

Wanderer huffed, but got up to leave.

“You hurt him again, I’ll hurt you,” he growled as he passed Wolf.

Jeremy blushed a little, looking back down. He was protecting the map, not Jeremy, but it still felt kinda good. Wolf came forward and held a package out to him. Jeremy put the nib down and took it. He untied the string and pulled the brown paper away to see a journal. It was leather-bound with a running horse burned on the front. The horse had Herb’s pattern. 

“Open it,” Wolf suggested.

Jeremy glanced at him before doing so. On the inside of the cover was a pocket that held several pencils. He squinted at them. _They look odd. What-?_ His eyes went wide.

“No fuckin’ way!” He shouted, “Colors?! How?! Where?! They’re so rare!”

He pulled out the blue and twirled it around before putting it away.

“Waverly general store,” Wolf answered, “They carry special markin’ pencils. The man said people don’t draw with ‘em, they just use ‘em on maps and charts. I thought it might work for you though ‘cause you’re so good.”

Jeremy’s eyes filled with tears. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him. 

“‘Bout how I been treatin’ you...” Wolf mumbled, “Kid’s my boy, I care ‘bout him a lot. Me an’ him been around for awhile.”

“G-golden Dynamite,” Jeremy provided, “That’s what people call you.”

“Wow, really?” Wolf muttered, eyebrows up in surprise, “That’s a...great name...anyway, I just get real protective of ‘im. If you hurt him, I hurt you, that’s how it goes.“

His eyes looked like fire. Jeremy cleared his throat nervously. He’d almost forgotten this was Mogar the Wolf Boy. _Scary._

“And about your journal,” he continued, “I thought it was just Wanderer. I thought you were in love with him or somethin’. I guess I didn’t think you liked the rest of us and it pissed me off ‘cause my boy likes you and he don’t deserve bein’ ignored.”

He crossed his arms and looked away, face red.

“So ‘m sorry,” he murmured, “I was wrong.”

Jeremy closed the journal, squeezing it to his chest and rubbed away the tears that didn’t fall.

“Um, thank you,” He squeaked.

“Yeah, whatever,” Wolf grumbled, “I...was wonderin’...would you draw Kid for me sometime? I’ll pay you for it.”

Jeremy nodded and Wolf brightened up.

“You’re not so bad, horse boy,” he teased.

Jeremy gave him a tight smile as he left. _Boy. Boy. Boy._ He crouched down, squeezing the journal to him and burying his face in his knees. 

_**“You’re such a fucking stupid little boy!”** _

_**“Hold still and take your punishment, boy!”** _

_**“Hold your fucking tongue, boy!”** _

He slapped his hands over his ears. _Please! I can do better! Please!_ A hand touched one of his lightly and he jerked out of the past. He looked up at Wanderer who had crouched down next to him.

“You alright, mouse?” He questioned.

“Y-Yes, sorry,” Jeremy mumbled, standing up, “I-I’ll get back to it.”

Wanderer followed him up and took his hand, squeezing it. Jeremy looked down at their hands in surprise.

“It’s okay,” Wanderer assured him, “You can take a break. You’ve been working so hard.”

Jeremy sat down heavily on the stool, still gripping the journal.

“C-can I draw you?” He asked quietly.

Wanderer cleared his throat, looking away.

“You want to draw while on a break from drawing?” He mumbled.

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

Wanderer took his stool and sat it in front of Jeremy. 

“Your hat, please?” Jeremy requested quietly.

Wanderer took his hat off and laid it on the table, careful not to put it on the map. He readjusted his mask and shifted.

“H-how do I...is th-this okay?” He stammered.

“Yes, just do what you always do,” Jeremy answered, “Sit so still you look like a statue.”

“Is that...what I do?” Wanderer asked quietly.

Jeremy started sketching, humming thoughtfully.

“You’re unaware?” He prompted.

“I suppose I just never noticed,” Wanderer mused, “I didn’t realize I do it all the time. I thought I only intentionally did it when I’m trying to be stealthy.”

“It’s all the time,” Jeremy confirmed, “It’s a bit unnerving sometimes.”

“Only sometimes?” Wanderer laughed.

“Yeah, sometimes it’s comforting,” Jeremy admitted, shrugging, “Knowin’ someone’s around, but not havin’ to try to come up with somethin’ to say that sounds half normal.”

Wanderer’s eyes narrowed at him. 

“What?” Jeremy grunted, “What’d I say now?”

“Nothin’.”

They fell quiet as Jeremy drew. 

~

Jeremy felt stiff. His hand hurt, his arm hurt, and his chest hurt. His heart was squeezing tightly. After he’d finished inking, the gang determined it was time to have a whole shindig in the nearest town with an “adequately stocked saloon” as King put it. Jeremy had refused until they said they’d be getting a hotel again. He was prepared to give up his hand to sleep in a soft bed again.

He was bamboozled however. No one told him there was a required amount of shindig he had to participate in before he’d be allowed to crawl into heaven on earth in bed form. Kid bounced over to him and tugged his good arm. Wolf was watching them again. Despite his apology, he still glared any time Jeremy was near Kid.

“Come on, Timmy Rim!” Kid chirped cheerfully, “We don’t have enough ladies!”

“Enough ladies??” Jeremy wondered wildly as he was dragged to the middle of the saloon.

He was stood next to Kid, across from Wanderer. He looked around nervously. _A line dance?_ He blushed bright red. Rider took up the spot next to him, across from King and Wolf was in front of Kid. He struggled a moment before finally forcing himself to look at Wanderer. 

They bowed to each other as the music started up. Jeremy’s heart thundered in his chest as they stepped forward, their eyes locked. He stepped sideways with his line and they lifted their hands. He was sure he could feel the heat of Wanderer’s palm on his as they hovered so closely together. They turned and he stepped back as Wanderer stepped forward. They moved in sync as they stepped back and forth. 

They turned again, now having switched sides and they pulled away, hands dropping as they both stepped forward. Their shoulders brushed as they stood side by side. They put their arms around each other’s waists and Jeremy could feel his heart drumming in his throat as they spun.

“You’ve danced before,” Wanderer commented.

“S-So have you,” Jeremy countered.

Wanderer’s eyes were bright and his mask shifted. Jeremy could feel the smile’s sunny warmth even behind the cloud of a mask. His own lips quirked up in a smile in response. They let go to step forward away from each other. Jeremy gasped in a breath of fresh air, face burning with how embarrassed he was to be dancing with Wanderer. He glanced at Rider as they started to move in a box step.

Rider was moving in easy, practiced motions. Jeremy wondered if he learned to dance or if he was just a natural dancer. Jeremy turned to Kid in time to see him stumble backwards and nearly fall. He, on the other hand, looked like he’d never learned to properly _walk_ let alone dance. 

Jereny snorted, trying to stifle laughter as he faced Wanderer again. Wanderer raised an eyebrow as they put their palms up again. This time, however, he pressed his hand to Jeremy’s. Jeremy’s blush made a return appearance as Wanderer’s hand turned to grip his tightly. With their hands clasped, they turned, eyes locked like two coyotes circling each other, waiting for the other to strike. Apprehension filled Jeremy’s guts and Wanderer’s eyes. 

_People like us._

Jeremy swallowed, his dry throat clicking almost painfully. _He’s been hurt badly too. By people he trusted, I bet._ Their hands parted as they moved away and then forward, shoulders touching as they put their arms around each other’s waists. 

_It gets easier._

He was like Jeremy after all, wasn’t he? It probably took a lot of time before he trusted the rest of the gang. From what Jeremy knew of the man, he used to be a lone outlaw. The rumor was he fled to the west when the law started to catch up with him back east. He’d met the FAH Gang and joined up, but no one really knew how or why. 

The man was an enigma. Everything about him was mysterious. His carefully hidden face and his sorrowful eyes. His skills with medicines and poisons. His ferocious hand-to-hand fighting style. His knowledge of several languages and ability to read and write. 

He had such a random assortment of skills, all seeming to be helpful in his current profession. Yet somehowthey also hinted that he used to be something else before he was an outlaw. All Jeremy wanted to do was solve him like a riddle. But did the riddle even have an answer?

The music stopped. 

Jeremy reluctantly pulled his arm away, he’d actually started to enjoy himself for a moment. Wanderer was searching his eyes for something as the crowd dispersed. They stared at each other as they waited for the coming fall. The pain would come, there was no doubting that. It was now a race to see who fucked up the other one first. Jeremy hoped it was he who was fucked up first. He really didn’t want to hurt anyone, especially not Wanderer.

The sound of yelling drew the attention of the saloon and Fake AH were outside, guns drawn, in an instant. A lone rider was shouting from the Eastern end of town as they galloped towards them. 

“KING! NEWS FROM LIBERTY!” They were shouting when they got close enough to understand, “MEXICAN EAGLE’S IN TROUBLE!” 

The gang were on their horses almost before the sentence ended. They rode to meet the rider halfway.

“King! Eagle’s been captured!” They panted, struggling to breathe, “I rode to camp first. We have to hurry, he’s slated for the gallows!”

“Good work getting here, Sauce,” King grunted, “You rest up, we’ve got it from here.”

The rider nodded and made their way to the hotel. 

“Okay, we’ve got to get to Liberty before the execution,” King muttered, “Let’s get on a train first thing tomorrow. Everyone needs to rest tonight, we’ve got a long way to go.”

Jeremy shifted nervously in Herb’s saddle.

“I-I can get there,” he mumbled.

The others were talking and bickering again. He squeezed his eyes and fists closed.

“I can get there quicker!” He shouted, “I know the easiest path and Herb’s faster than a train! And if I go now, I can surely get to him before the execution!”

The others went quiet and he flinched.

“Okay, does anyone think they can keep up with him?” King questioned.

Jeremy’s eyes cracked open. They weren’t mad at his shouting? 

“I can do it,” Wanderer spoke up, “Gray can keep up with Herb.”

_Gray? Oh, Ryan._ Because the horse’s real name is a secret. 

“Fine then, you two haul ass,” King ordered, “Grab supplies and get moving. We’ll meet you as soon as we can.”

Jeremy and Wanderer nodded curtly and moved to get their things from the hotel. Wanderer radiated an aura of panic and anger as he gathered his medical supplies. Jeremy gripped his hand like he had Jeremy’s before and squeezed. He looked at him in surprise.

“It’s going to be okay,” Jeremy assured him, “We’re going to save him.”

The man searched his eyes a moment before he sighed, his body relaxing. He squeezed Jeremy’s hand back and nodded, looking much more confident. 

“If you’re with me,” he muttered, “I feel like we can win any battle.”

_Battle. Was Wanderer a soldier? I’m probably over-thinking that._ Jeremy was interrupted from his wondering by lips pressing against his. Even with the fabric between them, he could feel Wanderer’s lips. _Kissing._ Kissing was what this was called, he thought. Had anyone ever kissed him before? Couldn’t be. This was a real one, the rest were fake. 

He went red as Wanderer pulled away to finish gathering supplies. His brain was scrambled and fried like an egg as they hurried out of town. He hadn’t considered kissing could be an option between them.


	9. Chapter 9

“There’s no time for another break!” Wanderer snarled, pacing back and forth.

“If you want to get there, they have to rest!” Jeremy snapped, “If you overwork them, they’ll collapse and we won’t make it.”

Wanderer grunted, looking away. Jeremy walked to him and took his hand, squeezing it. 

“I know you’re worried,” he muttered, “But it’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna make it.”

Wanderer reached toward him and Jeremy flinched. He grunted and pulled away, storming off into the woods. Jeremy sighed. _I’m not very good at this._ He fed some oats to the horses and sat as he waited for them to rest up. They were ready by the time Wanderer rejoined them, looking less tense, but avoiding meeting Jeremy’s eye. 

“Sorry about yelling,” he muttered as they mounted the horses.

Jeremy gave him a soft smile.

“It’s okay,” he assured him, “I know you’re worried about your partner. I’d be tense if Herb was in trouble too.”

Wanderer reached over the short space between Herb and Ryan and gripped his hand. Jeremy blushed as they squeezed their hands. He gave him a reassuring smile and the way Wanderer’s mask shifted, he thought he was smiling back. Then his hand left his and took his coat, yanking him towards him. Jeremy yelped a bit as Wanderer pulled him into another kiss. _Oh. So this isn’t a one time thing then?_

Wanderer pulled away and they started up again. Jeremy pushed the kissing from his mind as he traced the route in his head. He needed to stay focused if he was going to get them there in time.

~

Wanderer paced back and forth, apprehension and anger pulsing from him. _Again._

“I don’t like this,” he muttered.

“I know,” Jeremy grunted, “You’ve said many times.”

Wanderer threw him a sharp look and Jeremy swallowed, but stood his ground.

“We’re wasting time,” he pointed out, “I’ll go in, take a look, and come back. It’s the safest way.”

“You should never go in alone,” Wanderer growled, “I should always have your back.”

Jeremy took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes closed.

“You’re being a fucking idiot!” He snapped, “Scouts don’t need partners because they don’t engage the enemy! I’m going in, taking a look, and coming back with a report. You are staying here to keep us all safe. Got it?”

He waited, resisting the urge to cower.

“Alright, alright,” Wanderer huffed, “Just hurry back, okay?”

Jeremy relaxed. Before he could say or do anything else, Wanderer’s hands were on his face and he kissed him. Wanderer pulled back, but kept holding his face.

“Stay safe, mouse,” he whispered.

Jeremy felt warm all over. 

“I-I will,” He assured him.

Wanderer let go and Jeremy exited the cave. As he mounted Herb, he suddenly felt a horrible sense of dread. Something bad was going to happen. He didn’t know what, but each new guess was scarier than the last.

~

Jeremy sat beside the bed, propping his elbows up on his knees and pressing his clasped hands to his mouth. In his wildest imagination he hadn’t considered this. He’d considered Eagle would be dead already. He’d considered he’d be hanged in front of his eyes. He’d considered they’d all get caught and hanged. This...this was crueler. 

“Hola, Tim,” Eagle rasped.

He looked so tiny and weak in the hospital bed. 

“Hola, Eagle,” Jeremy replied, voice quiet, “I don’t suppose this is an act?”

Eagle’s lips weakly pulled up into a tiny smile.

“No, mi amigo,” he answered.

Jeremy rubbed his face with both hands. 

“You’re not being executed,” he muttered, “You’re just dying.”

“Sí.”

Jeremy didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Eagle reached weakly for him and Jeremy took his hand. 

“Join,” He croaked.

Jeremy searched his soft brown eyes and his weak smile. He was terrified of promising such a thing, but he was more terrified of seeing _himself_ in a hospital bed with no one to visit him.

“I...I will,” he answered.

Eagle’s smile widened a bit before it dimmed. 

“Por favor,” he whispered, “Wa-wan...der...”

“I’ll get him here,” Jeremy assured him.

Eagle relaxed into his bed.

“H-hurry,” he breathed.

Jeremy stood, nodding curtly. As Wanderer made his way to the hospital, Jeremy went to the train station to wait for the rest of Fake AH. He waited for quite some time, but unfortunately, Wanderer joined him before they made it. Jeremy took his hand and squeezed it as they waited together for the others.

When they finally arrived, he stood to tell them the news while Wanderer stared at nothing. He stayed back as the gang huddled together. Despite what he told Eagle, he was still an outsider and he likely would be for some time. He could do something for them now, while they mourned at least. He guided them all to a hotel and made arrangements to claim Eagle’s body and have it sent back west. It took a lot of talking and a couple bribes, but it was on a train headed for one of the FAH friends by the time night fell. 

He shuffled into the hotel, traipsing up to his and Wanderer’s room. He realized he could’ve given him a room of his own and hesitated at the door. He probably wanted to be alone. Of course, he was likely asleep now anyway. Jeremy could just leave if Wanderer didn’t want him around. He pushed open the door and quietly slipped in the room.

“Mouse, come here,” Wanderer called quietly from his bed.

Jeremy approached him, crouching by his head.

“What is it?” He asked, “What do you need?”

“Lay with me,” Wanderer whispered.

His blue eyes pleaded with Jeremy. Jeremy nodded and stood to get down to his underwear before he lifted Wanderer’s covers and slid in beside him. Wanderer immediately turned him to face away from him and squeezed him to his chest. He buried his face in Jeremy’s hair and shook with silent tears. Jeremy rubbed the arm around his middle in what he hoped was soothing motions until the man cried himself to sleep. 

Jeremy didn’t realize just how scary it could be, caring about someone. He never considered that caring about someone could hurt without it being anyone’s fault. Where would all the anger and grief go if there was no one at fault? No target to aim for? 

Jeremy laid his hand over Wanderer’s and squeezed gently. This he could do. He was an excellent target. He’d had a lot of practice with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ^_^’


	10. Chapter 10

Wanderer wasn’t two inches from Jeremy as they got up and around the next morning. He held his hand, buried his face in Jeremy’s shoulder, and wrapped his arms around him in varying ways as Jeremy helped him dress and gathered their things. Jeremy was a bit surprised he was a physical comfort sort of person, but he did his best to oblige him.

He wasn’t surprised that he stopped touching him as they left the room. Jeremy roused the others to get them to the train station, Wanderer trailing behind him as he guided them all. The feeling of grayness around them weighed heavy on Jeremy’s heart. Their grief was so palpable he felt like even _he_ missed Eagle. 

“Okay, I’ll see you when I get there,” Jeremy muttered, handing Wanderer his bag, “Don’t worry about-“

He paused, glancing at the others nearby. They were far enough away not to hear, but he decided to err on the side of caution.

“-Gray,” he continued, “I’ll take care of him.”

“What?” Wanderer asked, speaking for the first time that day.

Jeremy frowned up at him.

“Your horse, I’ll take good care of him,” Jeremy repeated.

“Aren’t I going with you?” Wanderer questioned.

“No, you’re going with the others,” Jeremy explained, “You can relax on the train and get there with the others to have the funeral. And the horses can rest a bit.”

“Can’t they wait for us?” Wanderer muttered.

“Wouldn’t you rather be with them?” Jeremy asked, smiling reassuringly.

“Let’s all go by horse,” King suggested, suddenly closer, “It’s better for us to stay together right now.”

“But I’m...” Jeremy mumbled, “I’m not...”

_I’m not one of you._

“Where would you even get horses here?” He tried instead, “And Eagle...he cant wait forever for you all to get back. Please, this is just the best way.”

They were all quiet a moment.

“I’m still going with you,” Wanderer insisted.

Jeremy sighed.

“Your momma musta been a mule,” he grumbled, “Alright, but I can’t promise we’ll get back in time for the funeral. The horses are worn out.”

“It’s okay,” Wanderer answered, “I don’t need to go to the funeral.”

“Alright,” Jeremy muttered, “The train’s leaving soon. You should at least say goodbye.”

He’d planned to pick up some supplies, but he supposed it wasn’t that important. As the gang started to board, Wanderer seeing them off, he saw a group of the Liberty law enforcers headed his way. What were they called? Constables? 

Their clean navy blue uniforms made Jeremy roll his eyes. They’d probably never actually been in a real fight before. They were definitely after him though, considering the ticket taker was pointing right at him. 

_Haha. Oops._ Out of the corner of his eye he could see Fake AH hadn’t noticed yet. Considering the Wanderer and the Mercy King were so famous, Jeremy worried they’d be captured next if they were seen. Jeremy stole a body, he’d be fine. If they were caught? _Not good._ He had to make sure they stayed focused on him. He gave them a small wave and a smile.

That seemed to piss them off as they hurried their steps towards him. Well, time to do what he did best: run. He tightened the strap on his bag and dropped into a sprint. The blues quickened after him, shouting. He put his fingers to his mouth as he ran from the station before he remembered Herb wasn’t nearby. Herb didn’t do good around large groups of people. 

_Shit._

He couldn’t outrun them without Herb. He had to outmaneuver. He skidded around the corner to the street. He ran alongside a carriage and hopped up on the back, pulling himself to the top. He smashed his boot into the blue who’d been quick enough to follow him as the top of the carriage. They fell off with a broken nose and the top of the carriage dented under Jeremy’s weight. He rolled and dropped down next to the driver who was slowing down. 

“Howdy, partner?” Jeremy chirped, “Don’t suppose you’d consider goin’ a bit quicker?”

“He won’t, but I will!” Wanderer called, “I believe this is your seat!”

Jeremy turned to grin at him and Ryan.

“I forgot my ticket though!” He laughed, standing up.

“I’ll give you a pass since you’re so pretty,” Wanderer teased as he leaned back to give him room. 

Jeremy leapt to Ryan’s saddle and kicked his heels. Wanderer wrapped his arms around his waist as Jeremy took hold of Ryan’s mane. 

“Told you I wouldn’t let you slip me, little mouse,” Wanderer spoke low in his ear.

Jeremy’s heart pounded in his chest and he swallowed. Wanderer’s arms were tight around him. Restraining him. He flushed. _Fuck._ He tried to shove down the sudden barrage of inappropriate thoughts as he guided Ryan around some corners, trying to keep track of where the hell he was. Liberty looked the same at every corner and he hadn’t looked close enough at the city map. 

When they finally lost the blues, they sat behind a building for a moment as Jeremy tried to remember how the hell they got there. He guided Ryan to a metal staircase on the side of the building and looked up. 

“What the fuck is this thing?” He muttered, reaching up to grip the ladder that hung from it.

“Fire escape,” Wanderer answered.

“Fire escape?” Jeremy grunted, pulling himself up the ladder, “Why? Ohhh, ‘cause the buildings are so tall.”

“Mm, somethin’ like that,” Wanderer hummed, clearing his throat, “Please get your ass out of my face.”

“Sorry, it’s wet,” Jeremy huffed as he climbed up the slightly slippery ladder.

“Fuckin’ Christ,” Wanderer hissed under his breath.

Jeremy got himself up the tiny metal ladder and pulled up to the landing. 

“Wait there a second,” he grunted.

He hurried up the stairs to the roof. He looked around over Liberty, getting his bearings. His internal compass had been correct, he was in fact guiding Ryan West. That was good news. One good thing about Liberty’s squares was the ability to pick a direction and go that way for awhile. He squinted around buildings looking to see if he could spot any more blues, but he couldn’t see much on the street level from there. He paused, catching his breath. 

He jumped in surprise when arms wrapped around him. Wanderer’s chin rested on the top of his head. Jeremy stiffened at first, but Wanderer’s warm presence relaxed him. He leaned into his chest, puffing out a sigh. Liberty didn’t look so bad when you could see past the buildings. His tied up insides unraveled a bit and he laid his arms against Wanderer’s, holding his wrists lightly. It didn’t look so bad when you had someone with you too. 

“Fuck this city,” Wanderer grunted, “I cant wait to get back home. I prefer the whiskey colored sin than the smog colored type.”

“Did you always live out West?” Jeremy asked.

Wanderer was quiet a moment before Jeremy remembered Wanderer’s whole thing.

“Oh, r-right,” Jeremy murmured, “S-sorry. Forget I asked. I didn’t. I-if that helps. I was...in a traveling circus.”

“Really?” Wanderer prompted, sounding surprised.

“Uh, yeah,” Jeremy muttered, shifting nervously, “That’s where I learned to fly.”

“I...lived down south,” Wanderer admitted quietly.

“I guess we’re both whiskey colored now,” Jeremy joked lightly.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Wanderer agreed, “Better than being all blue like those coppers.”

Jeremy laughed, twisting his head to grin up at Wanderer. Wanderer turned and his eyes smiled down at him before he leaned in to kiss him. Jeremy’s heart pounded in his chest. He wondered if they’d ever kiss without the mask. He found himself hoping they would, desperately wishing with everything he had that he could kiss his bare lips. 

They pulled away, Jeremy blushing from his embarrassing thoughts and made the unspoken decision to move on. _We really should be getting on if we want to get back home in the next week._ As they started down the street, Wanderer ducked, pulling his hat down a bit. People were looking at them, Jeremy realized. _We must look out of place._

Their staring was really starting to affect Wanderer who was shifting around and squeezing Jeremy. He finally just buried his face in Jeremy’s shoulder, wrapping tightly around him. Jeremy kept one hand on his arm and the other rested on Ryan’s saddle horn. He glared down the starers. _Assholes._

The further west they went the less buildings there were and the fewer people. By the time they made it back to Herb, the few people milling about couldn’t have cared less about how out of place they were. They stopped and Jeremy reluctantly dismounted to go to Herb. 

He really liked being held so tightly. He probably liked it a bit _too_ much considering his cock was half-hard in his pants. Even with Wanderer’s nervousness, his strong arms around him were doing things to Jeremy. It was definitely for the best that they rode separately.

As they left the city completely, Jeremy found himself thinking too much about it. Herb and Ryan were side by side, jostling them into each other as they always did when they weren’t sprinting. Wanderer was strong. He could hold Jeremy down, he wouldn’t even need rope. And who would need a whip with those big hands of his? 

But...Jeremy didn’t know what would come after Wanderer held him down. His hand went to his throat and he shuddered. Hopefully not _that._ If Jeremy was a woman...he blushed and it only got worse as his cock perked up more. _If I was a woman, Wanderer could fuck my cunt._ He swallowed, clearing his throat and shifting, trying to shut down the thoughts. _I bet it would feel so good to take him._ It _really_ wasn’t working. His skin was buzzing as he was jostled against Wanderer again. 

He cleared his throat loudly and pulled Herb away by a couple feet. _Relax. You’re going loony._ Wanderer looked over at him, eyes frowning.

“What’s wrong?” He questioned, “You haven’t even spoken to the horse. You always speak to the horse.”

“N-nothin’,” Jeremy murmured, “Just thinkin’.”

Wanderer squinted suspiciously at him, but let the subject drop. Jeremy shifted nervously. It was going to be a long trip back, wasn’t it? He recalled the reason for the trip and felt a surge of guilt. _Here I am thinking about sex when he’s just lost his partner._ Jeremy pat Herb’s neck absently. He couldn’t imagine how Wanderer must be feeling. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consider: horny outlaws.
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant for one more horny outlaw.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: brief PTSD trigger

Jeremy hesitated as he sat next to Wanderer on the forest floor. He wasn’t sure if this was the best idea, but it weighed heavily on his heart. It felt like lying to keep it hidden. He swallowed thickly and held his hand out to Wanderer, letting his fingers bloom open to show his prize. Wanderer looked at the knife for a few seconds before he said anything.

“I...I thought I lost it,” he mumbled, “How did you lift it off me without me noticing at all?”

Jeremy went a bit pink.

“I’m a thief?” He guessed, shrugging.

Wanderer took the knife, unsheathed it, and inspected the blade. His eyebrows went up.

“You took care of it,” he muttered, sounding surprised, “And you did an excellent job at it.”

“Yes, I didn’t want to ruin such a pretty knife,” Jeremy admitted, rubbing the back of his neck, “You’re not...mad?”

Wanderer sheathed the knife and held it back out to Jeremy.

“No, I’m impressed,” he grunted.

Jeremy took it back, surprised and slipped it back in his boot. 

“I hope it helps you some time,” Wanderer added, “If I ever fail to watch your back properly.”

“Ha! I doubt that will happen!” Jeremy snorted.

He tossed some kindling in the fire and stretched. 

“Anyway, we should probably get some sleep” he mumbled around a yawn, “Gotta long way to go.”

He got up and retrieved his blanket, laying it on the ground. He curled up on it, facing away from the fire and yawned again. He started to drift off, but stiffened as Wanderer laid beside him, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him to his chest. It’s seriously going to take awhile to get used to all this touching. 

“Relax, little mouse,” Wanderer murmured in his ear, “I’m not going to hurt you.”

Jeremy suppressed a shudder and squirmed under Wanderer’s arm. _Jesus, get your shit together, Dooley!_ Wanderer’s hand rubbed down his torso and Jeremy bit his lip. 

“Unless you want me to hurt you,” Wanderer growled in his ear.

Jeremy trembled, making a tiny squeaking noise as Wanderer’s hand cupped his crotch. He was very embarrassed that his cock was pretty hard. Wanderer gripped his hip and pulled him back, flush with his own crotch. Jeremy groaned, gripping at Wanderer’s arm for support. His cock rubbed against Jeremy’s ass and Jeremy rubbed back.

“Tim? Wake up,” Wanderer called out to him.

Jeremy jerked awake, blinking heavily at the sunlight streaming through the treetops. _What? Who? Where?_ He sat up, rubbing his eyes and looked for Wanderer who was crouched next to him. He smiled sleepily at him. Wanderer’s eyes darted away before coming back to settle on Jeremy’s.

“You were moaning a lot,” He muttered, “What were you dreaming of?”

Jeremy went red, sitting up further.

“N-nothin’,” he mumbled, wobbling to his feet, “J-Just...sleepin’ in a nice bed again!”

Wanderer followed him to his feet and Jeremy rolled up his blanket, trying to ignore the man’s heated gaze on him. This new thing inside him was making everything Wanderer did suddenly arousing. It didn’t help that the man kept kissing him and wrapping his arms around him. He was so _physical,_ like he literally couldn’t keep his hands to himself. It was scrambling Jeremy’s nerves.

_Speaking of..._ Wanderer’s hand squeezed his hip as he tied the blanket to Herb’s saddle.

“How about we stop in a nearby town and pick up some supplies?” He suggested in Jeremy’s ear.

“Um, s-sure,” Jeremy muttered, “I’m all for supplies. Kansas City isn’t too far off the path.”

Wanderer’s arms wrapped around him and pressed his head against his, kissing his ear through the mask. 

“And we can sleep in a nice bed,” He added, “So you don’t have to dream of it.”

Jeremy blushed. _**We** can sleep in a nice bed. We. We. We._ Jeremy turned to look up at him. He reached up and pulled him down by the back of his neck to kiss the painted cloth. Wanderer pressed back firmly, holding him closer to him. When they parted, Jeremy looked into Wanderer’s eyes. _This is dangerous, isn’t it?_

_Yes,_ Wanderer’s eyes seemed to answer.

~

Jeremy stretched his arms over his head and sighed in relief as his back popped. _Ahhh._ He was feeling pretty okay. Wanderer was in a good mood, he’d restocked the horse food, lifted the perfect blue pencil from the stationary section of a store, and now they were headed to a hotel. _Soft bed._ He grinned excitedly. Herb nosed his face and Jeremy pushed his head away.

“I’m just in a good mood,” he laughed, “I know it’s so rare for me. You’re wondering who the imposter is.”

Herb puffed a breath over his face and stamped his left hoof three times before stopping. Jeremy frowned at him.

“We’re in the middle of the city,” he pointed out, “Why don’t we wait ‘til tomorrow, huh?”

Herb repeated the gesture. Jeremy sighed.

“Your momma was a mule, for sure,” he huffed, but smiled fondly, “Oh, alright. You know I can’t say no to you.”

“What’s going on?” Wanderer asked, eyebrows drawn together, “Is something wrong?”

Jeremy grinned at him.

“No, sir,” He assured him, patting Herb’s nose, “Herb just wants to show off for Ryan since I’m in a good mood.”

Wanderer was frowning in confusion. Jeremy just smiled wider. He took off his boots and hat, dropping them next to Wanderer and Ryan. Then he hopped up onto Herb’s saddle and stood. 

“That looks dangerous,” Wanderer grunted.

“You ain’t seen nothin’ yet, partner,” Jeremy joked, winking at him.

He clicked with his mouth and Herb started trotting down the street. Jeremy leaned down, sweeping one leg behind him as he gripped Herb’s saddle, then the other as he stood on his hands. He clicked again and Herb sped up before turning around to circle back. Jeremy lifted one hand to give Wanderer a wave as they passed by then switched hands with a small hop. 

He clicked again and Herb started backwards, whinnying as his hooves clicked against the cobblestone. Jeremy put both hands on the saddle and clicked. Herb stopped and bucked, sending Jeremy into the sky. He flipped midair and landed on his feet, arms out. He bowed automatically, but jumped in surprise when he was actually applauded. 

He went red as he saw they’d actually attracted a small crowd. Herb stamped his hoof as Jeremy hopped from his saddle. He nodded to the crowd as he rubbed Herb’s nose.

“It’s okay, partner,” he muttered under his breath, “They’re just excited to see you. Don’t worry, we’re leaving.”

He turned Herb back the way they’d been going, nodding and waving as the crowd dispersed. It did feel kinda good though. He jerked his head at Wanderer, indicating they should move on. Wanderer brought him his boots and hat. The hat had money in it.

“You’re a regular street performer,” He teased as they walked down the street.

Jeremy smiled at the money. He’d never actually gotten any money for his performances. Felt kind of good. And well, the cheering of a crowd had always gave him a tiny spark of joy. Without the _need_ to be good, it felt better. Less pressure. He stowed the money and replaced his hat. Herb was jostling him, trying to nose at Ryan.

“You are too proud of yourself, partner,” Jeremy snorted, “Ryan’s probably not very impressed. He’s not a show horse, silly.”

“He’s impressed,” Wanderer assured him, “But he doesn’t want to admit it. He prefers acting mysterious. Probably because he’s a bit of an idiot who can’t communicate properly. And maybe he thinks _Herb_ is too good for him.”

_Herb. I think that’s the first time he’s called him by his name._ Jeremy smiled softly at him.

“Well, no one’s too good for anyone,” he argued, “Ryan’s good at being Ryan, Herb’s good at being Herb. How can you compare the two?”

Wanderer stared down at him a long moment before he spoke again.

“You’re somethin’ else,” He muttered.

Jeremy laughed.

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” he joked as they stopped outside the hotel, “I suppose it’s pretty accurate. Somethin’ not quite like anythin’ normal.”

Wanderer grunted as he tied Ryan off and they made their way inside. Jeremy sighed heavily as they finally made it to their room. He pulled his boots back off and started taking his clothes off. It was already getting dark outside. An excuse he made for crawling into bed early. He was down to his skivvies, about to do just that when Wanderer wrapped his arms around him. He smiled up at him, noting he’d also gotten undressed. Except for the mask and his underwear.

“You aren’t going to need these,” He muttered, fingers on his buttons.

Jeremy frowned in confusion as Wanderer unbuttoned his underwear. _Why?_ He blushed a little at the thought of being naked in front of the other man. 

“W-Wanderer? What are you-? Why?” He sputtered.

“Because I want you to be naked,” Wanderer answered in his ear, “For what I’m about to do to you.”

Jeremy swallowed, wincing a bit as his cock hardened in a hurry. 

“What a-are you going to do?” He muttered breathlessly as the Wanderer’s hands made it down to his crotch.

“What do you want me to do?” Wanderer countered.

The last of the buttons came undone and Wanderer pushed the cloth off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. Jeremy shuddered, wrapping his arms around himself. Wanderer’s fingers ran from his shoulders down his arms. One hand drifted lower and Jeremy’s breathing hitched.

“Come on, little mouse,” Wanderer coaxed, “Tell me your desires.”

Jeremy shuddered and squeezed his eyes closed. He had one desire above all overs.

“I-I...I want to kiss you,” He mumbled, “Without the mask.”

Wanderer paused and Jeremy felt a pang of guilt and disappointment.

“It’s okay,” he assured him quietly, “I...I know that’s a lot to ask. Never mind it, f-forget it.”

He pulled away, moving towards the bed.

“W-wait!” Wanderer exclaimed, “I-I can do it...I just...”

Jeremy crawled under the covers, sitting up.

“It’s okay, really,” he insisted.

Wanderer came over and sat on the bed. He didn’t look at Jeremy as he reached up and pulled the mask down off his mouth. Jeremy leaned forward to kiss him and Wanderer jolted back. Jeremy retreated.

“S-sorry, I thought...sorry,” he mumbled.

“No! It’s just...” Wanderer trailed off, searching his eyes, “I expected you’d want to look.”

Jeremy frowned.

“What, at your face?” He grunted.

Wanderer stared at him a second before bursting into his raspy laugh, putting a hand to his face.

“Lord Jesus, you are somethin’, little mouse,” he muttered.

“Well, let me look then,” Jeremy huffed, reaching for him.

He took his face in both hands and turned it side to side. There was one pretty thick scar running from one corner of his mouth to his ear, but there was little else unusual. It was just the bottom two-thirds of a beautiful face. Wanderer’s eyes were staring pretty hard. _Waiting._

“Well, you’re just as beautiful,” Jeremy commented, shrugging, “With or without the mask. I’m not sure what you expected me to say.”

Wanderer’s cheeks went pink and his eyes darted away. Jeremy’s heart suddenly pounded in his chest. _Never mind, this is more beautiful!_ He pulled him in for an urgent, open-mouthed kiss. Wanderer pressed back just as urgently, pushing his hands through Jeremy’s hair. Jeremy moaned. His lips were so soft, so much softer than he ever could’ve guessed. 

He pulled back to shove the covers out of his way and pushed up between Jeremy’s legs. Jeremy fumbled with his buttons while their lips moved against each other, annoyed by how many there were. He was unhelped by Wanderer’s hands rubbing all over his torso. He moaned as Wanderer kissed and nipped at his neck. Finally he got his cock out of the fabric and into his hand. Wanderer hissed, jerking into his hand.

“Fuck, I need you so bad,” he groaned in his ear, “Ever since the train I wanted you. Your pretty little mouth would look so good with my cock in it.”

Jeremy stiffened. He felt dizzy. 

“Tim, you okay?” Wanderer grunted, pulling back, “You there?”

He touched Jeremy’s face and Jeremy flinched.

“I-I’m sorry!” He whimpered, “I-I’ll do better!”

Wanderer frowned at him.

“What’s wrong?” He questioned, gently pulling Jeremy’s hand off him, “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Tears spilled out of Jeremy’s eyes and Wanderer laid beside him, pulling him to his chest. Jeremy sobbed, gripping him tightly.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered, “I’ve got you.”

Jeremy couldn’t do anything but cry himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m just so fucking tired. I’m so fucking tired. Tired as shit. Someone feed me sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Jeremy woke up with the familiar itch in his bones to run. Things were getting scary. He’d openly cried in front of Wanderer. He’d seen his face. They were locked into this thing now and Jeremy’s whole being screamed at him to run. He looked at Wanderer’s sleeping face.

He looked apprehensive even while asleep. It seemed like he was always tense. Jeremy’s eyes traced the scar from his mouth to his ear. His fingers itched to draw his face, now that he could see it. Of course that couldn’t happen, even just with his personal journal, he couldn’t risk someone seeing it. Did _anyone_ besides Jeremy get to see his face?

Jeremy pushed the thoughts aside to roll out of bed. He pulled his clothes on, yawning and stretching. Then he carefully pulled Wanderer’s mask back up, just to be safe. Who knows when something unexpected might happen? He wandered to the window to peek out and his eyes went wide. _Shit!_

He bolted from the room, racing down the stairs and out of the hotel. Herb and Ryan neighed at him, clearly annoyed at being left in the rain. He quickly untied Ryan and rushed them around the corner for the stables. Shit, he hadn’t traveled this far for so long he forgot rain was a thing. _Fucking Kansas. Urgh._ He wiped rain from his eyes as he found an open space for the horses. 

He took off their saddles and checked the supplies, wincing at how wet the oats got. He offered them some, hoping to get rid of them before they went bad from the water. He shook out their blankets and laid them over the stall doors before giving them both a pat and telling them they could lay down there. He huffed at his own wet clothes as he traipsed back towards the stable door. As he stepped out, he stared up at the sky in confusion. _Okay, guess we got the water we needed. Urgh. Kansas._

He hurried back to the room to get clean clothes on and was attacked upon entry. Or he was at least tackled. Okay, it was just a hug, but it hadn’t felt like it at first. One of Wanderer’s hands pressed to the back of his head, pushing him into his chest while the other looped around his lower back. 

“You scared me so fucking bad!” Wanderer huffed, “I-I thought you ran away from me!”

In fairness, Jereny did _want_ to run. He felt his body coiled up tensely, ready to launch into a sprint. Everything about what they were and weren’t doing was terrifying to him. He was leaving his life and more importantly, his soul in someone else’s hands. All Wanderer had to do was squeeze and Jeremy’s last words would likely be “thank you”. 

“Tell me what upset you,” Wanderer pleaded, “I’ll make sure never to do it again.”

“I just...” Jeremy murmured, “Don’t want to put it in my mouth.”

“I’m sorry,” Wanderer whispered, “I won’t mention it again.”

Jeremy finally put his arms around him and squeezed him, burying his closed eyes into Wanderer’s shirt. It seemed like he’d gotten half dressed and was likely trying to determine which direction Jeremy went. Jeremy relaxed a bit. _He won’t let me run._

~

The night sky was filled with little twinkles of light, like a needle making holes in fabric, letting light shine through from the other side. They didn’t provide much light, but the half-moon illuminated the forest clearing, seeming to deepen the shadows between the trees. The low hum of insects and calls of nocturnal creatures surrounded the clearing, carrying in the air as sweet, calm music.

Jeremy puffed out a sigh into the night, rubbing his face closer to Wanderer’s chest. Their camp was so peaceful, like a hidden pocket no outsider could interrupt. Wanderer shifted and rolled Jeremy onto his back. Jeremy looked up at him, flushing at the dark look he was giving him.

“Sit up,” He ordered.

Jeremy did so, a bit shakily.

“Take off your shirt.”

Jeremy pulled it over his head.

“Now undo your trousers and underwear.”

Jeremy fumbled with his buttons, fingers trembling. Once they were undone to his crotch, Wanderer pushed the fabric off his shoulders and pressed him back laying flat against the blanket. He tugged on Jeremy’s trousers until his cock flipped free of the cloth. Jeremy covered his red face at how hard he was. 

Wanderer poured something from a little glass vial into his hand before tugging his mask down with his clean hand. He wrapped the hand with the liquid around Jeremy as he leaned over to kiss him. Jeremy groaned as their mouths moved and Wanderer’s hand rubbed him. 

This feels way better than doing it on my own. He couldn’t recall any whore ever doing it. They were usually straight to business. He didn’t blame them, but damn it felt good. The kissing too was nothing like what he’d experienced. Warm and wet and heady.

Wanderer’s tongue slipped in his mouth and Jeremy shuddered and moaned. His mouth opened wider, giving the other man ample room to run his tongue all over the sensitive parts inside. When his tongue retreated, Jeremy’s followed it to imitate its actions. As he swiped over the scar from the inside of his mouth, a tremor went through him. Was it particularly sensitive? Jeremy stiffened his tongue to prod more firmly at it and Wanderer groaned.

He stroked him slowly as they kissed and Jeremy panted impatiently. _More._ His hips twitched up into Wanderer’s fist, desperately encouraging him to speed up. _More more more._ He gripped Wanderer’s coat as their mouths parted.

“P-please!” He cried, “Please, I-I need it!”

“Fuck,” Wanderer hissed under his breath, “You have no clue what you just said, do you? Fucking _Christ.”_

Jeremy’s head was spinning too much to focus on his words. His hand sped up on Jeremy’s cock and Jeremy puffed out a relieved sigh. He let out a soft, breathy moan as he released and his body arched up higher before he went limp. He huffed as he tried to catch his breath and cracked his eyes open as Wanderer leaned over him. 

He looked between them where Wanderer was rubbing himself, Jeremy’s seed all over his hand and now cock. He grunted, gripping the blanket next to Jeremy’s head as his eyes closed tightly. Jeremy’s cock twitched where it was softening against his belly. 

“C-can I d-do it?” He mumbled nervously.

Wanderer moaned and the sound felt like fire in Jeremy’s bones. He let go of himself to grab Jeremy’s hand and shove it to his cock. Jeremy wrapped his hand around him, the sticky remnants of his semen and the oil making it easier to stroke him. Wanderer’s now free hand also gripped the blanket as his hips thrust into Jeremy’s fist. 

He dropped his forehead to Jeremy’s panting and moaning, his body jerking desperately as though he really was fucking Jeremy. _How does he look so beautiful no matter what?_ Jeremy wondered, eyes watching the way his face drew up as he released, splattering hot semen all over Jeremy’s belly. He slumped slightly, though he was careful not to drop onto Jeremy. 

“Fucking Hell, I needed that,” he muttered, burying his face in Jeremy’s neck.

Jeremy went red and put his arm around the man’s shoulders, embarrassed in the aftermath to be covered in seed and feeling way too good about it. He hoped Wanderer wasn’t planning on talking about this because Jeremy didn’t think he could live through the conversation. Wanderer pulled back and kissed him before pulling out a handkerchief to wipe all the fluid off Jeremy.

Jeremy’s heart was throbbing in his chest and his guts were twisted up. _Oh no. This just made it worse, didn’t it?_ Jeremy’s body twitched. His instinct to run for it was kicking in harder than ever. This was dangerous. This was terrifying. He really was a little mouse, cornered by the cat, who wasn’t about to let him get away without a fight. 

_If I’m the mouse and he’s the cat, doesn’t that mean he’ll eat me?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at that, they finally got off. Dumb horny outlaws.
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant for more amazing content just like this wherein I make myself laugh and no one else.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes for spoilery trigger warning.

The closer the pair got to Camp AH, the further they got from each other. Wanderer stopped having Jeremy ride with him, stopped wrapping his arms around him while he drew or fed the horses, stopped kissing him so much. Jeremy had been struggling to get used to it anyway, so it didn’t exactly concern him. The touching incident was also not repeated. Jeremy wasn’t quite sure if he was disappointed or relieved.

His head was like a hive of bees, thoughts constantly moving and working, though not always to his benefit as they buzzed around. His whole body desired to both run and stay. He was being torn in two by his fear of being hurt and his fondness for Wanderer. None of this was helped by how arousing the man was. It left this haze of lust over him that distracted him from actually deciding what exactly he wanted, what he was feeling, and what he should do about the situation.

Jeremy sighed heavily at the drawing he was working on. Another one of Wanderer. It did seem like he was all he drew. Besides a few of Eagle and of course, Herb, but he’d started several sketches of Wanderer on their way back. Most of them were unfinished because he kept showing Jeremy new poses and expressions. Today’s pose was sleeping in a near fetal position. 

The man began to stir, the tenseness in his curled up body ramping up. He was tightening, like he was trying to make himself as small as possible. Jeremy felt a squeeze of empathy in his heart. _Make yourself smaller so you’re a harder target to hit._ Wanderer began to whimper and twitch. 

Jeremy closed his journal and cautiously made his way back to the blanket. He was having a bad dream. Jeremy didn’t really know what to do about that. When he had bad dreams he would hug Herb or go for a ride to try to forget. Hugging him while he was sleeping seemed creepy and dangerous. He might end up with a knife in his throat if Wanderer woke up with his arms around him. 

“I d-didn’t d-do it,” Wanderer whimpered, “P-please! Please n-no! I didn’t-!”

He suddenly bolted upright, gasping. He ripped his mask down, huffing breathlessly. He looked around for Jeremy and reached towards him, his face relaxing when he saw him. He crawled up between Jeremy’s legs, laying sideways with his face buried in Jeremy’s neck. He squeezed his arms around his middle and Jeremy pulled him more firmly into his lap. He held him gently, but securely. 

“I’ve got you,” He mumbled, “It’s gonna be okay.”

Wanderer sniffled against his neck.

“I almost believe you,” he mumbled, voice thick.

Jeremy dipped to press his head against his. It may be a fairytale, may never be a reality, but the tiniest hope that everything would be okay was enough to settle Jeremy’s buzzing thoughts for that brief moment. 

~

“Well, well, lookit these two,” King grumbled as Jeremy and Wanderer made their way to the campfire.

“You two certainly took your bloody time!” Kid huffed, “We’ve been waiting nearly a week!”

“You fellas sure you’re in the right camp?” Rider grunted, “Not sure I recognize you.”

“The horses were worn out!” Jeremy snapped, crossing his arms, “You treat your horses right and then maybe one day they could do what Herb can, you selfish fucking assholes!”

Jeremy’s own eyes widened along with everyone else’s. _Oh fuck. That was a mistake. I’m gonna fucking die!_ Instead of killing him, the three muttered apologies, looking properly scolded and Jeremy’s eyes just widened further. _They’re not... mad? They’re not going to punish me for speaking out of turn?_

“Now that y’all are back we can get to this hit!” King exclaimed, clapping his hands together, “Everyone to the war tent!”

Jeremy frowned. _War tent?_ He watched as they started filing towards the tent he’d used to create the maps. Wanderer looked back at him and quickly motioned for him to follow. He did so, but he was nervous. Did this mean he was _actually_ apart of the gang now? 

“Okay, assholes,” King grunted as they gathered around one of Jeremy’s maps, “We got a fortnight to get this shit right. The target is a train carrying in a heap of supplies and loot to that rich fuck on the hill, Greed Campbell. We’re gonna snatch his prize before it gets to the station.”

He pointed out the area for the ambush.

“The train runs right through this crop of trees,” he muttered, “Tim and Rider will be boarding before it gets to the trees, get it stopped before it leaves the forest, and then we pounce on the guards. After they’re dealt with, we load the wagons. It’s important we keep the driver alive, so they can take over again after we have everything off the train. Any questions?”

_Yeah, why me?_ Jeremy wanted to ask.

“Okay, tomorrow we scout the location,” King informed them, “We’ll see what we’re working with. Today, I need a supply run. Who’s going?”

“Not it!” Chorused from four of the six occupants of the tent. 

They turned to look at Jeremy who just frowned in confusion. They were all grinning at him, looking triumphant. Jeremy grunted as he realized what just happened. 

“Y’all are assholes,” he grumbled.

They just laughed, clearly highly amused that they’d slated him with an annoying, tedious job. 

“Tim it is,” King confirmed, “Let’s go buddy, you need a hair cut anyway.”

Jeremy’s eyes flicked to Wanderer who nodded the go ahead. _Well, I guess there’s worse jobs to be stuck with._

There were not worse jobs to be stuck with. Except maybe poop-scooper. Not his favorite job back then. Especially not when the others were around. They thought it quite funny to shove him into piles of poop while sneering that fucking nickname at him. 

But other than that, supply run was the worst. First of the list of complaints was having to ride all the way over to Waverly. Then they had to talk to people, which was okay, but people had a tendency to be annoying. Then they loaded up the goods into the wagon, stuffing the thing full of crates and packages. Then for some reason King had to visit the saloon. It was like he was compelled to go to the den of inequity, like the whiskey there was a siren singing to him. 

Jeremy liked alcohol as much as the next man, but he was exhausted. He wanted to get back to his cot. He’d slept on the ground for nearly a full week. Now that he’d gotten used to beds and cots, going back to the ground was awful. He rubbed his lower back with a grunt. Certainly hauling around those goods wasn’t helping. 

“Jeremy Dooley!”

Jeremy stiffened.

“Yes, sir?” He snapped back automatically.

_Wait, what?_ He whirled around to see his former boss storming over to him. He backed up instinctively, bumping into King and spilling his drink. 

“F-fuck, sorry!” He hissed.

His old boss stopped in front of him and raised a hand. Jeremy flinched, squeezing his eyes closed, but the blow didn’t land. 

“What the fuck you think you’re doin’, buddy?” King growled.

Jeremy opened his eyes to see that he was right behind Jeremy now, gripping boss’ wrist where it hung in the air near Jeremy’s head. Boss attempted to jerk it free, but King held firm.

“I asked you a question,” he reminded coolly, “I suggest you answer if you don’t want a broke n wrist.”

“This belongs to me!” Boss shouted, gesturing towards Jeremy with his free hand.

Jeremy flinched at the hand waving near him and bumped into King again. King grabbed his collar and shoved him around behind him.

“No, he doesn’t,” he snarled, “People aren’t property, asshole.”

_“That_ isn’t a person,” boss snorted, “Come here, boy.”

Jeremy started to do so. King dropped Boss’ wrist and held out his arm to stop him.

“That horse, Johnny’s taking care of it outside,” Boss sneered at him.

Jeremy went pale and ducked Kong’s arm to go to Boss’ side.

“P-please, don’t hurt him!” He begged, “I-I’ll go back, p-please!”

_ Smack! _

Jeremy bowed his head, eyes watering from the sting of the slap.

“You still haven’t learned,” Boss growled, “You don’t speak unless I tell you to, boy.”

Jeremy nodded obediently. _Herb, please, it’s going to be okay. I’ll be there soon._ Boss gripped his chin roughly and forced it up to make Jeremy look at him. 

“Do I have to punish you in front of your friend or will you tell him to stand down?” He questioned, voice low and dangerous.

“I-I’ll tell him, s-sir,” Jeremy assured him shakily, “K-King, it’s okay. D-don’t worry. Th-this is my b-Boss. I have-”

_ Bang! _

The entire saloon jumped from the sound of a gunshot. Jeremy’s eyes went wide. _No. Please no._ He jerked away from boss and sprinted for the doors. _Please, please don’t be Herb!_ He burst through the doors and whistled. Herb did not come. He ran out and around where he’d left him to find him on the ground. Johnny was pointing a revolver at him.

“No!” Jeremy screamed, launching towards him.

He tackled the man to the ground as he fired again, this time into Jeremy’s thigh. Jeremy slammed his fist into his face, breaking his nose with a loud crack. Johnny pushed against him, trying to shove him away, but Jeremy dropped his weight onto his stomach, winding him. He slammed his other fist into his face. 

“Get off him!” Boss shouted.

Jeremy looked back at him, noting the gun in his hand before turning back to punch Johnny. He alternated between his fists.

“Drop it, fucker,” King ordered, “Or you get a bullet in your spine.”

Jeremy ignored them, too busy rearranging Johnny’s face. After he couldn’t recognize him, he crawled towards Herb. He patted his nose.

“I-it’s gonna be okay, partner,” he assured him, tears pouring down his face, “It’s just a f-flesh wound. Y-you’ll recover just fine! You’ll get to r-rest up and e-eat sugar cubes an-and be spoiled. Don’t even worry, y-you’re gonna be j-just fine!”

He laid his head on Herb’s muzzle and stroked his neck.

“I-it’s okay, partner!” He sobbed, “Y-you’re too st-strong to get knocked out of the fight b-by a single bullet. Everything’s gonna be j-just fine! _We’re_ g-gonna be fine, partner. D-don’t even worry!”

“Tim...buddy,” King called softly, “He’s...he’s dead.”

“No, he’s not,” Jeremy insisted, “He’s j-just sleeping. He’s t-tired! He’s g-gonna be fine. H-horses are really r-r-r-”

He couldn’t get the last word out, choking on it as his sobbing squeezed his throat. _No, you can’t die! I still need you! You’re all I have! How can I continue without you?!_ Jeremy squeezed his arm around Herb’s neck as he begged him to be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Horse death
> 
> This was a rough chapter, I can’t lie, I cried my eyes out writing this.
> 
> Send me cute cat pictures @1stworldmutant to make me feel better.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mention of past trauma, whipping

Jeremy held onto Herb as they moved him into a wagon. He laid beside him sobbing, his thigh throbbing with pain as they rode back to camp. It was Wanderer who finally pried him away. Jeremy struggled, trying to keep a hold of Herb.

“Stop.”

He went limp and allowed himself to be dragged away. Wanderer laid him on his cot and started pulling his clothes off. Jeremy weakly reached for his hand and Wanderer took his, squeezing it before letting go to pull off the rest of his clothes. He started tending to the wound on Jeremy’s thigh. He gripped his leg tightly as he dug for the bullet. Jeremy cried quietly in pain as he got it out and stitched him up. 

He gave Jeremy leaves to chew as he bandaged the wound and got a clean pair of trousers on him. After that, he had Jeremy spit the leaves out before pressing him firmly into the cot. Jeremy turned onto his side, making room for him. 

“Lay with me,” he murmured.

Wanderer took off his boots before crawling in behind him. The leaves began to work, dulling his pain and urging him into a fitful sleep. Wanderer held him closely to his chest, rubbing circles over his heart. 

~

Jeremy stared at the top of the tent for most of the next three days. He only got up when Wanderer made him eat and helped him relieve himself. It wasn’t exactly the side of himself he wanted Wanderer to see, but he had no other choice. His leg was throbbing and weak from the wound, he couldn’t hobble into the outhouse on his own. But by the fourth day, he was strong enough to do so and was glad for that much. 

Wanderer showed him to where Herb was buried, right next to Eagle. Jeremy wondered if it annoyed him to have a horse buried next to his partner. Eagle’s marker was a round stone, laid flat on the ground with his real name chiseled into it. _Ray._ Somehow it didn’t exactly fit what Jeremy had learned about the man, but no one got to choose their names. He supposed that was why outlaws wore their titles so proudly. 

Herb’s marker was similar, but notably the stone was white with gray spots and more rough around the edges. His name was chiseled in, but so was a carving of a horse. The color of the stone made it look like him. Someone had spent time on it and Jeremy couldn’t have been more grateful that they understood what Herb meant to him.

When they got back to the main camp, King was waiting for them. He gestured for them to follow him into the war tent. Jeremy was guided onto a stool which he was happy about, thankful to get the pressure off his bad leg. King leaned against the map table and frowned down at the map for a moment before he spoke.

“We’ve a few things to discuss,” He muttered, “None of which are very pleasant. Firstly, I’d like to know if you’ll be healed enough for the hit on Campbell.”

Jeremy opened his mouth to answer, but King held a hand up.

“Before either of you answer,” he interrupted, “Let me be clear: we can do the job without you. We may have to change things up, but it’s nothin’ we can’t handle. So do you think you’ll be okay?”

“He should _physically_ be healed enough,” Wanderer answered, “As long as he doesn’t do any heavy lifting, he should be fine.”

_ Physically. _

“I can...but I’ll...need a horse,” Jeremy mumbled.

It hurt even _considering_ replacing Herb.

“You can take Gray,” Wanderer suggested, “Since you’re already bonded with him and you know he can keep up.”

Jeremy looked up at him in surprise. Wanderer gave him a firm head nod and squeezed his shoulder. 

“Um, alright then,” he agreed.

“Okay, good,” King spoke, sounding relieved, “Truthfully we didn’t _want_ to do it without you. You’re our best rider and the news is this train is some fancy new bullshit that can go faster than ever.”

Jeremy’s eyebrows came together.

“I’m not sure Rider would be happy to hear that,” he grunted, _“He’s_ the best. Besides, my riding was only because of Herb.”

Wanderer gave a disagreeing noise, but King waved him down.

“That horse was somethin’ special,” King admitted, “But you’re still a great rider ‘n skilled at thievin’ trains. You’re basically our expert here. Rider, on the other hand, is our train driver. We want you to get him on and let him take over from there.”

Jeremy nodded curtly. This much he was sure he could do.

“Alright, Wanderer, I need a moment alone with Tim,” King pressed on, “Please wait out by the fire.”

Wanderer hesitated, looking down at Jeremy with worry. Jeremy nodded the okay and he squeezed his shoulder again before he left.

“This is about my boss,” Jeremy guessed.

King crossed his arms, looking thoughtful again. He paused as he seemed to consider what to say.

“We’ve got him still,” He explained, “Other than your name and the fact he believes he owns you, he hasn’t told us anythin’...the other one, the help, blabbed everythin’ he could as soon as he woke up. We had to gag him to get him to shut the hell up. Before we could stop him, he told us the kind of... _relationship_ you had with the boss.”

Jeremy’s head dropped and he twisted his hands anxiously.

“Who all knows?” He mumbled.

“Me ‘n Axel,” King answered, “I’ve kept the others away from ‘em, but Axel was there when the whole thing went down, so I have him watching ‘em.”

Jeremy rubbed his temples with his palms. 

“I need to know,” King continued, carefully, “Wanderer, he’s not makin’ you do somethin’ like that, is he?”

Jeremy looked up in surprise.

“What? No!” He assured frantically, “He’s not making me do anything!”

King narrowed his eyes.

“But you’ve done things like that with him,” he guessed.

Jeremy blushed, looking away.

“Um, w-would that be a p-problem?” He squeaked.

“Not if you’re totally willin’,” King answered, “If you’re fully choosin’ to do it, then I have no problems, but if you don’t want to do it then I have a very big problem.”

Jeremy covered his face.

“Y-Yes, I want to do it,” he mumbled.

“Okay, then everythin’s fine,” King huffed, sounding relieved.

He sat down heavily on the stool on the other side of the table. Jeremy lowered his hands, trying to ignore how utterly embarrassed he was.

“Now what do you want to do about these fuckers?” He grunted, “I’m partial to sawing off their limbs and letting them try to crawl their way back to town.”

Jeremy snorted, shaking his head.

“Let me see them,” he requested.

“Of course,” King nodded, “We better go on horse, it’s a bit of a walk.”

Jeremy felt sick, but nodded.

“Wanderer can go over with you instead,” King offered, “He knows the location though he doesn’t know anyone’s there.”

“Uh, yeah, that would be nice,” Jeremy muttered.

“Just tell him you need to go to the prison,” King instructed.

Jeremy nodded and started to leave.

“One last thing,” King called, waiting for him to turn around, “My name is Geoffrey Ramsey. Now we’re even, kid.”

“Well, you’ll always be my King, your majesty,” Jeremy teased, grinning.

He bowed with a flourish as King laughed. He was smiling as he limped out to Wanderer who stood, immediately coming to his side.

“King said to tell you I needed to go to the prison,” Jeremy grunted, “Apparently you know where that is.”

Wanderer’s eyebrows came together as he frowned, but he nodded. They moved to Ryan who pressed his face to Jeremy’s chest as soon as he was close enough. Jeremy pressed his forehead to the horse’s.

“I know, Ryan,” he whispered, patting his neck, “I know.”

~

Jeremy stood in front of the man who caused him so much grief. He undid his trousers as he stepped closer to the man.

“Tim, I don’t think that’s going to solve anything,” Wanderer spoke quietly.

Jeremy ignored him as he took out his cock and pissed on the man’s face. Boss sputtered, choking and spitting. 

“By your own logic, you now belong to me,” Jeremy muttered as he put himself away, “I get to do whatever I want to you. Isn’t that what you always said?“

Boss’ eyes were filled with fear.

“But you could never give me what I want,” Jeremy continued, “Because all I want is my friend back. Since I don’t want anything from you, I could just pass you over to my other friend here.”

He gestured to Wanderer.

“Don’t let his good looks fool you,” Jeremy taunted, “He’s a very scary man when he wants to be. But you know that, don’t you? You know exactly what he can do to you. So beg me, _boy._ Just like you made me beg. _Beg.”_

“P-please, Jeremy!” Boss pleaded, “I’ll do wh-whatever you want! Please!”

_ Smack! _

“Be respectful, _boy,”_ Jeremy ordered coldly.

“P-please, sir!” Boss corrected shakily, “I-I’ll do anything! Please!”

“I said beg like you made me,” Jeremy reminded.

Boss’ eyes squeezed shut as he trembled with fear.

“P-please let me t-take your cock, sir,” he cried softly, “I-I want to t-take it, please, sir.”

“No, thank you,” Jeremy answered.

He drew his gun and fired. He turned to Johnny as he holstered the gun. 

“You won’t be so lucky, friend,” he growled lowly, “The pain you made Herb suffer is inexcusable. Wanderer, the whip please.”

He held his hand out for it and squeezed his hand tightly around the handle. 

“Now you’ll count like you made me when you whipped Herb,” he spoke calmly and coldly, “And then maybe I’ll let you live at the end of it.”

He hit him until he was knocked out from blood loss and stood watching as he bled to death. Then he sagged, letting Wanderer catch him and sweep him up into his arms. 

“Let’s go back now, mouse,” he murmured, “You need rest.”

“No, I have to bury them,” Jeremy mumbled, “They’re my responsibility. Just let me catch my breath.”

Wanderer sighed, but relented, sitting on the floor with him in his lap. He held him closely and Jeremy buried his face in his neck. He wasn’t sure if he felt better or worse. Maybe neither.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Jeremy’s trauma was resolved and everything was fine, the end.  
> Follow me @1stworldmutant for more blatant lies.


	15. Chapter 15

The train was faster than any Jeremy had seen before. He was grateful he asked to start much further back than originally planned. He worried they wouldn’t make it even with the extra space. It was much more difficult to keep up without Herb. Ryan was good, but Herb was fueled by the fire of mistreatment. 

He’d been forced to be better. Broken down and built back up from the ashes of his pain and suffering. No horse should’ve been through that and honestly, it was better he was at rest now. Jeremy had worked him too hard, used him too much. Still haunted by their demons, Jeremy should’ve given him more of a break. Just because he always ran didn’t mean he should’ve forced Herb to. _He deserved better..._

Ryan snorted below him, jarring him from his thoughts. They were about even with the caboose. He checked Rider was still behind him before lifting in the saddle and hopping aboard the car. He whistled for Herb to stay back, but obviously Ryan didn’t know how to obey that command, just tossing his head in confusion. _Well._

Jeremy drew his pistol and moved up towards the engine. He quickly and quietly moved across the cars, careful to keep his bare feet quiet as he went. If all went well, Rider would be on the train soon and he could relax. As it was now, he was wound tighter than a coiled viper. 

The driver, of course, didn’t see him coming though the coal shoveler did. He carefully moved forward, causing them to back up towards the stove and the driver who finally noticed his presence. He went for the whistle, but Jeremy leapt forward, pressing the gun to his cheek.

“No need for violence,” He spoke calmly, “We’re not here to hurt you. We just want the goods. Slow down a touch would you?”

The driver did so, shakily and Jeremy waited for Rider to catch up. He frowned. It was taking too much time. Where was he? Jeremy was absolutely sweating now as he felt an ominous foreboding clench in his guts. This was where the plan went to shit, wasn’t it? 

Against his better judgement, he took his eyes off the driver to look around for Rider. Rider’s horse, Taco, was right behind Ryan. Her saddle was empty. _Shit._ As he started to panic, the driver moved, going for the whistle again. Jeremy fired, hissed in annoyance at his mistake, and pointed the gun to the other.

“Can you drive?” He demanded.

“Y-Yes, sir!” They squeaked, “Uh, I think so anyway.”

“You keep this train moving at this speed,” Jereny started, “And stay quiet until I get back and you’ll get a handsome reward at the end of this.”

They nodded and moved around the body to take over while Jeremy moved back. _Where the hell is Rider?!_ He poked his head around the coal car to see Rider was hanging off the ladder of the car right behind the coal. Jeremy’s eyes went up to see a guard was standing over him at the top of the car. That wasn’t good. 

Jeremy crept back towards him, moving quietly through the coal car. He was toying with Rider, laughing at him while grinding his boot into Rider’s fingers. Rider was desperately clinging to the ladder, arms trembling from the pain. Jeremy couldn’t fire the pistol this far back. Without the engine to cover the sound, the entire train would be upon them in a matter of seconds. He holstered it and readied himself to jump.

If he dove just right, he could send the man off the train. He needed to be careful of the sound of his landing, but it was feasible. He climbed to the top of the coal car and coiled up. He sprung forward, hands out to push them off the train. They went, but his landing was skewed, nearly sending himself off the train in his desperate attempt not to be heard.

He wobbled, righted himself, and immediately turned to help Rider up. His fingers were broken, making it difficult for him to climb the ladder one-handed. Jeremy dropped down, going to put his arms under Rider’s armpits. Rider flailed.

“No! Don’t!” He hissed.

He slipped in his panic and Jeremy grabbed him, growling as he suddenly had to hold the man’s full weight. He huffed, dragging Rider up. His stitches tore from the strain on his legs as he lifted up. Rider stumbled into him, unsteady and Jeremy realized why he’d panicked. He could feel whatever cloth was binding Rider’s breasts under his clothing. 

“Oh.”

_Smack!_

“Get your hands off me!” Rider snarled.

Jeremy backed away a good two feet, raising his hands in surrender.

“S-sorry,” he muttered, “Anyway, we’re running out of track.”

He moved back towards the engine, limping a bit from the pain in his thigh. Wanderer wasn’t going to be happy about that. Jeremy was on strike two now. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what strike three would bring. Rider didn’t comment on the dead driver as he took over from the shoveler who went back to their duties. Rider was wincing in pain from his broken fingers. _Not a good sign._

They began to slow to a stop as the forest got closer. Jeremy pulled the pistol to watch Rider’s back as the others descended on the train. It was an intense shootout, but nothing they couldn’t handle. Unfortunately, Rider was out of the fight. He couldn’t use a gun or his whip with his fingers broken. Jeremy did his best to keep him safe as he weakened himself. The blood dripping from his wound was making him a bit dizzy. He ignored it. 

As soon as the fight was over, Wanderer was at his side, patting his head and asking if he was alright. Jeremy nodded weakly, rubbing his eyes and pointed out Rider was injured. As the gang started unloading, the main five of Fake AH and Jeremy gathered in the car Rider had hung off of. Jeremy only had one thought on Rider which was “Does everyone know?” He didn’t want to accidentally let slip a secret of the others didn’t know.

“So...the driver is dead,” King grunted, “What happened?”

“He went for the whistle while my pistol was against his face,” Jeremy answered.

“You were looking around for me, weren’t you?” Rider grumbled as Wanderer patched up his fingers, “A guard came out of nowhere and was wrecking my hands. It wasn’t Tim’s fault.”

“Shit happens,” King agreed, “But now what can we do? We need a driver and _you_ are not an option.”

“Why not?” Rider demanded, “Just because my hand’s broken??”

“Yes, but you’d also get recognized,” King pointed out, “If this train doesn’t arrive on time, they’ll come looking for it. And they’ll find our trail. We can’t cover the tracks of an entire caravan.”

“I’ll do it,” Jeremy volunteered, “They won’t recognize me and it was my mistake. The shoveler knows how to drive, between us we can get it back safely. Besides, I’m an excellent actor.”

“No way in hell!” Wanderer growled, “We can’t send you into the lions den alone!”

“But you would’ve sent Rider?” Jeremy questioned, raising an eyebrow at him. 

He looked away, obviously embarrassed and went quiet.

“We don’t have time for another plan,” King muttered, “Alright Tim, after you deal with Campbell’s men, tell the ticket seller you’re lookin’ for an achievement. They should send you back to town where we’ll pick you up.”

“Got it,” Jeremy agreed, “We better get a move on now, before we’re late.”

The gang filed out, but Wanderer stopped him.

“Be careful, okay?” He murmured, “Don’t take any unnecessary risks. Just come back safe, okay?”

Jeremy grinned at him.

“Don’t you know “careful” is my middle name?” He joked.

Wanderer rolled his eyes, but puffed out a laugh. Jeremy leaned in for the kiss, but didn’t get one. Wanderer ruffled his hair and followed the others. Jeremy’s heart clenched as he left.

Jeremy winced and pulled a bandana to tie over his wound. It wasn’t bleeding nearly as bad as it probably could have with his luck, but he was feeling a bit weak. The gang whooped and cheered as the train started up again and he waved at them as they pulled away.

~

“I’m lookin’ for an achievement?” Jeremy offered the seller.

They nodded curtly.

“Where are you headed?” They prompted.

He opened his mouth, but paused. The sudden realness of his situation and realization he could run slammed into him. His guts tied in knots. He didn’t have anything any more. He’d lost Herb and Wanderer was pulling away from him. King knew too much about him and Jeremy knew too much about Rider. His bones itched and his body twitched. _Run. Run. Run!_

Would they come after him? Was he important enough to hunt down? Would Wanderer ride up on Ryan and yank him onto the saddle? Would he whisper in his ear that he’d never let him get away? Would King tell him not to bother? Would Rider, after what he’d discovered? Was he even one of them? Would he ever be?

“Sir?” The seller prompted.

Jeremy looked at the destinations. He snorted as he read the furthest station. _How fitting._

“Kansas City,” he muttered, “Or as close as I can get on the next train out.”

The seller nodded and Jeremy took his ticket. He knew he was an asshole for it. He couldn’t just run and run and keep expecting Wanderer or anyone else to follow. He was telling them to fuck off and then acting hurt when they did. He wasn’t the victim here, he was the asshole. He knew this. But there was really only the one thing he was good at. _Running._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m gonna need new prompts soon, bruhs. Tweet me @1stworldmutant or just comment below with FAHC prompts!!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mention of past physical/sexual abuse, sexual assault, attempted rape, eye stabbing

The city was overcast as the train pulled into the station. It looked like it’d start raining any moment. The bleak grayness was a perfect fit with Jeremy’s mood. He wandered a bit, meandering slowly towards the hotel he and Wanderer had stayed in. He was distracted briefly as he walked the road Herb had performed on.

He smiled sadly as he thought about it. It hadn’t even been a month. He rubbed his aching chest. For so long, all he had was Herb. Herb was his family, his best friend, his partner. In the circus, they were joint punching bags. If one of them hurt, the other one did. Truly the only thing that made Jeremy keep going was knowing that Herb was there. Herb was the only living creature he’d really felt close to.

Jeremy didn’t trust people. He didn’t trust niceness because in his experience no one was ever truly nice for the sake of being nice. They all had hidden agendas. Wanderer’s appeared to have been his desire to have Jeremy touch him. Now that he had achieved it, he didn’t appear to care any further. Maybe Jeremy hadn’t been good enough. Jeremy certainly had no idea what he was doing. _I should’ve just put it in my mouth._ Boss was always happier after. 

No, it was likely it wouldn’t have mattered any way it happened. Wanderer had changed because they were going back to his home. He didn’t want to be like that around the others. But...on the train, he hadn’t kissed him, even though the others wouldn’t have seen. 

Jeremy sighed, feeling torn up and conflicted. He didn’t understand exactly what he’d done wrong, but he knew for sure he wasn’t solving it by running. He wasn’t _trying_ to solve it, he was trying to just avoid it straight out. Confronting his problems was something he’d just never learned to do.

Something familiarly colorful caught is eye as he lamented his inadequacy. He frowned as he turned and approached the brick building. Stuck on it was a flyer. A flyer _he_ had designed. It was purple, orange, and yellow, his favorite colors. The words had changed, but the border and background art remained the same. 

His chest tightened at the dates posted on it. _The street performance with Herb, they must’ve seen it or heard about it. That’s how they found me._ If he’d just stayed out of the city...he put his hand over the drawing of Herb reared back in the bottom corner. His eyes flooded as his hand crumpled the flyer.

_I knew it. I knew this thing with Wanderer was dangerous! I got too relaxed, too sloppy. I let my guard down and now Herb is dead because of it! I would’ve seen this if I hadn’t been too distracted by him. We wouldn’t have even been here if I wasn’t so fucking obsessed with him!_

He tore the flyer off the wall and realized something else. The colors...he looked down at the outfit he’d gotten from Wanderer. Purple coat, yellow shirt, orange-brown vest and trousers. _How did they know my colors?_ He paled. At least one of them knew who he was before. He recalled Rider’s intense stare on the train. Like he knew something. And he’d trusted Jeremy enough to listen to him. 

Red Rider knew who he was before? How? Who was _he_ before? Did he work at the circus? Jeremy couldn’t recall anyone with such vivid red hair. Maybe he’d remember if he saw the bottom half of his face? Wanderer hadn’t been all that different without the mask, though maybe Rider had a unique scar as well? Jeremy thought back to the train and his discovery. Maybe he just has a feminine face? He looked back at the flyer. Or he was running as well...

He shook his head. No questions. Part of the reason he ran was to get away from Rider’s possible secrets. Jeremy liked getting whipped, but something told him Rider wouldn’t take it easy on him. Something told him he’d be the next one bleeding out on the prison floor if Rider decided he was too much of a risk. 

Jeremy smoothed the flyer back out and folded it in half as he walked down the road. He suddenly realized he’d left his journal behind. Other than Wanderer’s knife, it was basically the only thing he owned that mattered to him. Except maybe Herb’s saddle, but if he was never going to ride a horse again, what would be the point in having it? Maybe he would ride a horse. He didn’t know for sure. Everything was confusing and messed up. His bee hive mind was back. Hundreds of conflicting thoughts buzzed about in his head. Was he ever going to have anything resolved?

He wondered where the rest of the circus was now, without boss. He frowned as he considered it. Was it possible they hadn’t left with him? He likely left immediately to chase after Jeremy. So they could they be around. He swallowed nervously, glancing over his shoulder. Did they even know boss was dead? He felt dizzy as he heard their voices taunting him in his head. That awful nickname churned his stomach as it echoed in his head. 

They hated him, but it came back to boss’ treatment of him. Maybe they would be glad to hear he was dead. Either way, they didn’t deserve to be left in the dark about it. He should tell them, shouldn’t he? His hands shook. He wasn’t sure that it was a good idea to go into the lion’s den, even without the head lion. 

~

Jeremy swallowed nervously as he looked around. The tents were the same, except with a few more patches. It was drizzling now, no one was hanging about. They were probably all in the big top, practicing. Should he just go in? This was dangerous. He should leave. He turned, but didn’t leave fast enough.

“Sideshow?” A voice called out.

Jeremy stiffened at the nickname.

“Holy shit, it really is you!” They exclaimed, “Boss was right!”

He turned nervously as they approached. _Blaze._ The man threw an arm around his shoulders and started dragging him towards the big top.

“Everyone’s gonna be surprised to see you!” He laughed, “Boss said you went west. Must be what’s taken him so long!”

“Uh, um, th-that’s...” Jeremy mumbled.

“Hey, everyone!” Blaze called, as they entered, “Look who just wandered in!”

Jeremy paled as he was pushed forward and all the performers paused to see what the fuss was. _Run. Run. Run!_ Blaze gripped his biceps tightly as he pushed him towards the others. They crowded around him and he felt tiny. 

“Huh, boss said you went west,” Baby muttered.

“I-I did,” Jeremy answered, “I c-came back.”

“Looking for us?” Donny snorted.

“N-no, I d-didn’t know,” he mumbled, “I...th-thought...um, that is, I...b-boss is dead.”

Eyebrows went up all around him.

“How do you know?” Baby questioned, crossing her arms.

Jeremy’s hands twisted in front of him.

“B-because I killed him,” he replied quietly.

The performers looked between themselves and he shifted. He was all too aware of Blaze’s firm hands on his arms. 

“He’s obviously lying,” Moth piped up, “Sideshow actually do something? Johnny was with him. No way he’d risk that stupid horse.”

Jeremy’s hands tightened into fists.

“Johnny killed Herb,” he spoke firmly.

“I knew the idiot was going to fuck up one day,” Blaze snorted, “Of course he killed the horse.”

“What a dumbass,” Baby agreed, “That was the only thing keeping Sideshow here from murdering him.”

“Please don’t call me that!” Jeremy snapped.

His guts went cold with fear. Blaze let go of him.

“Holy fuck,” he grunted as he came around to join the others, “He really did kill him. Little Timmy grew a pair.”

Jeremy stared at him in surprise. He almost sounded impressed.

“So...now what?” Baby mumbled, “What are we going to do?”

“Well, I’ll tell you what I’m going to do,” Donny huffed, sounding pissed, “I’m gonna beat this piece of shit within an inch of his life.”

Jeremy wasn’t sure why that didn’t scare him.

“You know what it was like when you left, Sideshow?” Donny snarled,stalking towards him, “You wanna know how many of us were punished for your transgression?”

He threw a hook that Jeremy ducked. He slammed a hard jab into Donny’s guts. The man wheezed as he doubled over.

“I said don’t call me that,” Jeremy growled in his ear.

He straightened back up to see the angry faces of the performers.

“He’s right,” Moth grunted, “Boss broke my arm because I was sleeping closest to you.”

“He ripped out a chunk of my hair because I was the one who found the horse missing,” Baby added.

“Nearly choked me to death because I heard you talking about going East.”

“Broke my nose for telling him about the missing supplies.”

“Kicked the shit out of me for losing your trail.”

“Why the hell should I care?!” Jeremy cut off the barrage, “I spent my whole life being abused by him and all of you!”

Donny, apparently recovered, swung again and he side stepped, slamming his boot into his ribs as one of the others swung too. He ducked them, smashing his fist into their sternum. The scene exploded, the performers jumping him at once, kicking and punching until he was on the ground, covering his face as they kicked the shit out of him. He blinked in and out of consciousness until they were done with him. 

Well, except for Donny, who had always wanted to force him just as the boss had. It was dark, must’ve been hours later, when Donny got him alone. He couldn’t say he was surprised to wake up to Donny’s hand slapping his face. He was never allowed to endure it asleep. He always had to be awake. 

“Wakey, wakey, Sideshow,” Donny cooed at him, “You knew this would happen. You came anyway because you wanted it to.”

Jeremy groaned miserably, weakly trying to pull away.

“Ah, ah,” Donny chided, “Be still like a good boy and I’ll make sure you enjoy yourself.”

He flipped Jeremy on his stomach, which confused him. _My face is the other way?_ Donny lifted his hips, putting his ass in the air, and tied his arms to his legs, forcing him to awkwardly fold in on himself. Jeremy’s body ached from the bruises and the broken rib. He thought his limbs weren’t broken at least, but his nose was definitely. 

He squirmed in the bindings, trying to wiggle his hand into his boot. _Just gotta get Wanderer’s knife._ He carefully worked his boot down, since his hands were too low to reach the top. Donny undid his trousers and shoved them down before taking his own knife to his underwear.

_What the-?_ Jeremy jolted as his fingers ran over his asshole. _Oh. Oh!_ His eyes went wide. _Right. Hole._ It made sense now that he actually thought about it. He blushed horrifically, distracted from his situation. He hissed as Donny pushed a finger inside him. _Fuck no! That’s not for you, you fucking creep!_

Jeremy got the knife in his hand. He carefully started sawing through the rope as Donny pressed another finger into him. He growled in pain and his body tightened. 

“Get out, you son of a bitch!” He snarled, struggling against him.

“Be still, whore!” Donny snapped.

“You have three seconds before you die an agonizing death!” Jeremy hissed.

“Just admit you want it,” Donny sneered.

Jeremy slammed the knife in his eye and kicked his foot into his crotch. He twisted to the side, shoving him off and away. He ripped the knife out while the man screamed and quickly cut himself free of the other rope. Before he even got his clothes back in order, he smashed the knife in the man’s other eye then right in his crotch before stabbing him in the guts. 

He wiped the knife, got his clothes righted, and stood. He walked from the tent to find the others all staring with wide eyes and mouths. He kept the knife in his hand as he limped forward, hand over his broken rib.

“Anyone else wanna try to fuck the whore?” He sneered.

They parted to let him pass and he made his way from the circus grounds. He almost whistled for Herb, a thought that brought tears to his eyes. _I really did rely on him too much. I took and took and pushed him more and more. It’s a wonder he didn’t drop dead of exhaustion. Herb. I’m sorry._

He was utterly exhausted when he got back to the hotel, not even bothering to remove his clothes as he dropped to the bed. He sheathed the knife, but kept it tightly fisted in his hand, holding it to his chest. 

_I hope it helps you some time, if I ever fail to watch your back properly._

_Ha! I doubt that will happen!_

Jeremy sobbed, the sound of raw pain choking out of him. He had been right. Wanderer was prepared to watch his back hundreds of times over, prepared to give him everything, just as Herb had. And Jeremy just kept running, dragging him along without thought for his feelings or wearing him down, just as he had Herb. It was too late for Jeremy to make it up to Herb, but Wanderer was still alive. He still had the chance to do the right thing. He had to go back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, there were three things I planned for this fic when it started that I knew 100% would happen no matter what: Ray’s death, Herb’s death, and Jeremy stabbing someone in the eye. So we’re almost to the end readers. 😂
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant for less death and eye-stabbing.


	17. Chapter 17

Jeremy was in a great deal of pain as he struggled to get out of bed. The sun was up. He didn’t have time to waste on doing anything more than relieving himself. He had to take the first train out of there before he lost his nerve and ran away again. 

He shuffled to the train station, looking over the destinations. His hand stayed over his broken rib as he mapped the trail back to Camp AH. He was likely going to have to buy a horse to get from town to the camp, but he should be able to get back within the next two days. Provided the midway station was running to town at a convenient time. 

He bought his ticket and sat to wait for the train, hissing through the pain. _Some of Wanderer’s magic leaves would be amazing right now._ The sound of a train whistle distracted him from his self-pity. He looked back at the station clock and then his ticket. The train was half an hour early? _Wait, no. It’s coming from the wrong direction._

He watched the train pull in, screeching as it braked. He stood. _No way. No way in hell._ He walked towards the train as a flood of people rushed toward him. _They... they came for me. All of them._ He started crying as he ran to meet Wanderer halfway. He swept him into his arms, fully lifting him off his feet.

“Fuck, I was so worried!” He cried into Jeremy’s shoulder, “I’m so glad you’re okay!”

“I have a broken rib,” Jeremy wheezed.

Wanderer quickly let go of him, cupping his face as he inspected his damaged face. He set his nose without warning and Jeremy hissed in pain.

“Ow,” He grumbled, “Could have warned me.”

“Could have,” Wanderer agreed, “What the hell happened to you? Who did this?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Jeremy mumbled.

“Like hell it doesn’t,” King spoke up, “We’re about to go teach someone some manners.”

“Because you’re a shining example of good manners,” Jeremy countered dryly.

Rider joined them, pushing them aside to get to Jeremy. Jeremy felt like shrinking away from him.

“Kid, if you have a problem with me being a woman,” he grunted, “Then say it! Don’t just run off!”

Jeremy frowned.

“So you’re not a man then?” He clarified.

“No, I’m a woman,” Rider answered, “I dress as a man to keep myself safe. If you’ve got a problem with it, then speak up.”

“Did you used to work at the circus?” Jeremy questioned, “You knew me, on the train, didn’t you? How did you know?”

“I did use to live there,” Rider admitted, “I tracked them after I left. I saw one of your shows once. Pretty impressive.”

Jeremy blushed.

“Th-Thank you,” he murmured, “Can we go home now?”

“Not ‘til we beat the piss outta whoever messed up your pretty face,” Wolf spoke up.

“Watch who you’re callin’ pretty,” Wanderer warned.

“It really doesn’t matter,” Jeremy insisted, “I don’t need revenge on their revenge. It’ll just be an unending circle. I just wanna go home.”

He lifted his ticket.

“You guys should hurry and get your tickets,” he suggested.

They all filed away except Wanderer who was looking at the ticket. He stared for a moment before looking in his eyes.

“You were coming back,” he spoke quietly, “Even though you could’ve kept running.”

He was searching him for answers that Jeremy didn’t have.

“We...should talk,” Jeremy muttered, “When the others aren’t around.”

“Okay,” Wanderer agreed, looking apprehensive, “I’ll get my ticket.”

Jeremy nodded as he walked around him even though his brain was screaming at him to run, he sat to wait for the train.

~

“There’s really not much I can do,” Wanderer admitted.

His fingers were gently touching Jeremy’s side where the broken rib was. 

“But it’s not that bad,” he added, pulling back, “You got strong bones.”

Jeremy shifted as Wanderer sat down on his own side of their compartment. He twisted his hands anxiously a moment before standing and locking the door. He drew the curtains and the room darkened. He sat back down and hesitated before tugging the mask down and pulling his hat off.

“I’m...sorry,” he mumbled, looking down at his hands, “I didn’t mean to push you into something you didn’t want.”

Jeremy frowned. 

“When did this happen?” He grunted.

Wanderer looked at him, frowning back.

“Isn’t that why you left, because of the...” he went pink, looking away, “Because I touched you?”

“No, you fucking idiot,” Jeremy grumbled, “I wanted that. I wanted you to touch me _more._ I thought you didn’t want me any more, pulling away from me like that.”

Wanderers head jerked back to him. He looked frustrated.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He demanded, “Why didn’t you initiate anything? I was waiting for you to say you wanted it because I thought I was pressuring you.”

“Because I’m a fucking coward,” Jeremy pointed out, “And I don’t know what the hell to do! This is unmapped territory for me. I have no idea how to have sex with a man. Well...I have some idea...”

Wanderer’s eyes widened.

“You’re a virgin??” He choked, “I thought-! Th-the woman, the whore, she has a cock, I just assumed she fucked you!”

Jeremy’s eyebrows went up.

“She does?!” He nearly shouted, “How the hell did I miss that?!” 

He thought back to how she always left her dress on, carefully covering her front as she rode him. In fairness to him, he’d only been there a few times. Wanderer covered his face with a miserable groan.

“That’s why you were asking what I was going to do,” he huffed, “I just thought you were nervous or somethin’. You literally didn’t know what I was going to do to you.”

Jeremy swallowed, recalling his recent epiphany. _Well, I’ve got an idea or two now._ He flushed, looking away to stare at the ceiling. _Good, the lust haze is back. So glad._

“So...why did you run?” Wanderer asked quietly, “If you wanted to be with me, why run away?”

“I’m a coward,” Jeremy reiterated, “I thought you didn’t want me and I didn’t have Herb any more. And King knew too much about me. He knows my real name and so much about my past in the circus. Then there was Rider. After I found out about his- _her_ breasts I thought for sure I would wake up fucking dead. I like getting whipped, but I like being alive at the end of it.”

“Rider would never hurt you,” Wanderer assured him, “She’s actually pretty soft on Fake AH and she’s the reason we were trying to recruit you in the first place. She insisted you were perfect for us.”

Jeremy turned his head to look at him.

“Am I Fake AH now?” He questioned.

_“Now?”_ Wanderer snorted, “No, you have been for a long while, mouse.”

Jeremy covered his stinging eyes.

“Usually I hate being in a gang,” he mumbled, “It reminds me of the circus too much. But I wanna be part of it. I wanna matter, especially to you. I’m sorry I keep running. I’m just so scared of trusting anyone.”

“It’s okay,” Wanderer answered, “I ran too. Seven times. Ray, he... followed me the seventh time. We ended up at this cabin. The owner was awful, he was shouting at his horse when we showed up. We were far enough north that snow had started to fall. We asked to stay the night. He said we could stay if Ray let him fuck him. Ray agreed easily, but I didn’t want to let him. I didn’t want him to get hurt. I realized it didn’t matter if they cared about me, _I_ cared about _them.”_

“That’s so sappy,” Jeremy sniffled.

They were quiet a moment before Wanderer spoke again.

“Why were you coming back?” He whispered, “What changed your mind?”

Jeremy moved his arm to look at him.

“I realized I’m an asshole,” he murmured, voice rough with tears, “I kept running, but I wasn’t just hurting myself. I was dragging you along for it. Herb...I pushed him so hard and he was still always there for me. I can’t fix that now. I can’t go back. With you, have the chance to be better, the chance to stand by you instead of running.”

Wanderer’s eyes filled with tears and reached over to grab his hand.

“I’m so fucking glad,” he sobbed, “I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay with me forever.”

He kissed his scraped knuckles.

“M-my name is Ryan,” he confessed, choking.

Jeremy stared at him a moment.

“You have the same name as your horse?” He muttered dryly.

Ryan rubbed away his tears.

“I didn’t pick it!” He grumbled, still teary, “It was Ray! The cabin owner, we killed him before we learned the horse’s name. Then I told Ray my name and he started calling him that.”

Jeremy laughed, wincing at his broken rib as he did so.

“Oh lord, what an asshole,” he wheezed.

“I know!” Ryan exclaimed, “He was absolutely the worst! He kept teasing me about you as well.“

“Oh, that’s what all the Spanish was,” Jeremy guessed, “He kept making comments?”

“Yes, very rude comments,” Ryan huffed.

“Were they untrue?” Jeremy teased.

Ryan went red and looked away.

“Th-that’s beside the point,” he grumbled.

“Come kiss me, sap,” Jeremy chuckled, tugging at his hand.

Ryan was quick to obey, kneeling on the floor next to him to press his mouth against Jeremy’s. Jeremy put his hand on the back of his neck to keep him close. When they parted, they pressed their foreheads together and smiled. It was going to take Jeremy time, but he was sure he’d stop running if he knew Ryan would be waiting for him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wake up in pain a lot too, Jeremy.
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant for mysterious and unknown reasons.


	18. Chapter 18

Ryan was quiet on the train for some time, laying on his bed as though sleeping. But he was obviously not. His shoulders were tensed up and he kept glancing over at Jeremy. He’d also laid his coat over the bottom half of his body as though it wasn’t extremely obvious what he was trying to hide.

Trying and _failing._ Jeremy could definitely see the soft bulge, even in the dim light. Now that it was night time and things had calmed down, he was also thinking about other activities they could be doing. He cleared his throat. Ryan had mentioned _him_ initiating...

“R-Ryan,” He called quietly, “Please, I...I want you.”

Ryan was on his bed in seconds, leaning over him to kiss him deeply, pushing his hands through his hair.

“What do you want?” he groaned against his mouth, “Wh-Whatever you want. Tell me. I’ll give you anything.”

Jeremy cupped his crotch and Ryan let out a sharp gasp.

“This is what I want,” Jeremy whispered hotly in his ear.

“F-fuck,” Ryan huffed, “S-such a whore.”

He moved down to start taking off Jeremy’s trousers and his half-unbuttoned underwear. Jeremy carefully lifted his hips to let him drag the fabric off him. Once he was naked, Ryan pushed up between his legs, squeezing at his thighs. He looked apprehensive. 

“You said you had some idea,” he muttered, “How much of an idea?”

“I-I know you’re gonna put it in my ass,” Jeremy squeaked, face burning, “Will you...take off your shirt too please?”

Ryan smirked at him as he unbuttoned and removed his vest and shirt. 

“Better?” He teased.

Jeremy twisted his hands, embarrassed.

“A-and your underwear,” he added quietly.

Ryan grinned at him.

“You’re so cute, little mouse,” He cooed, as he unbuttoned his skivvies, “There. How’s that? Enjoying the view?”

Jeremy covered his blushing face as he nodded. Ryan leaned over to his bag and rummaged around a moment. Jeremy curled his fingers up, hands now pressed over his mouth as he looked at the man, watched the way part of his hair fell free of the tie. 

As he pulled back with whatever he’d been looking for, Jeremy reached out and pulled the tie free. It cascaded down over his shoulder like a waterfall. Jeremy brushed his fingers through it as Ryan smiled gently at him. His hair was softer than Jeremy imagined, like his lips. He pushed his hand through it to the back of his head, pulling him in for another long, warm kiss. 

Ryan shifted as he kissed him, putting his hand between them. Jeremy jolted a bit as his fingers rubbed oil over his asshole, but he quickly relaxed again, groaning. _I’m going to take his cock. It’s going to be inside me._ He panted as Ryan slid a finger inside him. It went in smoothly, barely stinging at all. 

“More!” Jeremy hissed, rocking against Ryan’s hand, “N-need more! Need you! Hurry!”

Ryan moaned, hand shaking as he added another finger.

“God, you’re so needy,” he groaned, “Stop squirming. You’re injured.”

Jeremy whined, struggling to stay still. The rib did hurt and his body ached, but he wasn’t getting less hard for it. Ryan fucked his fingers into him, twisting and spreading them. Jeremy was shaking in his desire to thrust into them. Ryan peppered him with kisses as he made room for his cock. 

“So beautiful,” He mumbled, “I can’t believe I get to have you.”

Jeremy went red again, covering his face.

“Sh-Shut up!” He cried, “Please, please hurry! I’m ready!”

Ryan kissed his ear.

“Are you sure?” He whispered, “Because if it’s not enough, it will hurt.”

“Y-Yes! Put it in!” Jeremy exclaimed, “Please!”

Ryan moved, pulling up and removing his fingers. Jeremy peeked around his own fingers to watch him take his cock out. _Maybe I was a bit too hasty..._ Ryan poured oil in his hand and rubbed it over himself. He looked up at Jeremy, smirking when he saw him watching. 

“Like what you see?” He taunted, stroking himself, “Should I just give you a show?”

Jeremy shook his head frantically. He reached down and held his ass apart.

“Pl-please put it in, Ryan,” he mumbled tearfully.

Ryan made a choked noise and crowded closer, quickly shoving into him. Jeremy cried out in pain as he pushed fully into him without hesitance. He was trembling between his thighs. His eyes fluttered closed and he let out a long, dragged out moan.

“Oh god, oh fuck,” he groaned, “You feel so fucking good. I knew you’d be so hot here. So soft, squeezing me. Fuck.”

He fumbled to grip one of the bars above him as he moaned again, his face drawn up in ecstasy. Jeremy cried quietly as he watched him. _So beautiful. Why’s he so beautiful?_ Once Ryan got his breath back, he cracked his eyes open to look down at Jeremy.

“Are y-you okay?” He huffed, “Too fast?”

Jeremy shook his head.

“Are you ready?” Ryan grunted.

Jeremy nodded. Ryan pulled out a bit before slowly pushing back in. His arm shook from squeezing the bar so tightly. He looked like it was taking everything he had to keep control. His free hand held Jeremy’s hip, thumb rubbing soothingly over his skin and keeping him in place. Jeremy puffed out a moan, hands gripping at the cushion below him. He’d guessed right, it did feel amazing to take his cock. He rocked back and forth slowly.

“You’re worrying me,” he grunted, “Are you alright?”

He leaned down, brushing a hand through Jeremy’s hair. Jeremy frowned, distracted.

“Wha?” He huffed out around a sigh.

“You’re quiet,” Ryan explained, “You’re not usually so quiet.”

“I-I’m okay,” Jeremy assured him breathlessly, “More th-than. It f-feels so...”

He trailed off, puffing out another tiny moan. 

“Ah, I see,” Ryan chuckled, “You _are_ moaning, they’re just very quiet.”

Jeremy whined, kicking his heel against Ryan’s ass.

“D-Don’t laugh a me,” He grumbled, “Fuck me!”

“As you wish,” Ryan joked, grinning at him.

He gripped his hips tightly to keep him in place better as he started thrusting hard into him. Jeremy gasped, wrapping his arms around him as he humped between his legs.

“Y-Yes, yes,” he squeaked, “F-feels so good.”

“You r-really are a little mouse,” Ryan panted, “I can barely hear you.”

Jeremy pressed his mouth up to his ear.

“Ryan, you f-feel so good in-inside me,” he breathed.

Ryan shuddered and moaned.

“Y-yeah?” He grunted, “You l-like me usin’ your tight little cunt? Filthy slut, spreadin’ your legs for me. F-fuck! Like me putting you where you belong? You want me to touch your cock?”

“P-please!” Jeremy choked.

“Too bad,” Ryan growled, “Do it yourself.”

Jeremy moaned as he reached between them to take hold of himself.

“There you are,” Ryan taunted, “That got a n-nice moan out of you. That what you need? Need me to-to order you around?”

He lifted slightly to put room between them.

“Play with your cute little nipples too,” he ordered, “I bet they’re s-sensitive.”

Jeremy rubbed his fingers over his nipples, groaning. They were sensitive.

“P-pinch ‘em,” Ryan growled, “Fuckin’ slut. You’ll love that.”

Jeremy squeezed, gasping as it sent a spark of fire through him. Ryan gripped a fistful of his hair and smashed his mouth against him, rattling his teeth. He nipped at Jeremy’s lips, shoved his tongue down his throat, and sucked Jeremy’s into his own mouth before biting down with an animalistic sounding growl of a moan. Jeremy screamed into his mouth as semen shot out of him, body tensing and arching. He huffed and grunted in pain from his rib as he settled back down.

Ryan pulled back, resting his forehead against his, gasping for air as he thrust frantically. His hands squeezed Jeremy’s hips so tightly he knew they would bruise. He shouted as he released inside him, heat shooting through Jeremy. His face drew up and he moaned softly. Jeremy’s thighs trembled around him. _This is the true crime he should be hunted for: his beauty. It’s not fair for him to look so beautiful!_ He sighed contentedly, burying his face in Jeremy’s neck. 

“So good,” he groaned.

Jeremy agreed, but silently. Ryan didn’t need a bigger ego. 

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

They jumped as someone pounded on the wall next to them. 

“Congratulations!!” Kid shouted, “I’m so happy for you!”

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

They looked to the other wall.

“Y’all are fuckin’ loud!” King yelled, “I’m exhausted! Go to sleep you fuckin’ animals!”

Jeremy covered his burning face. Fake AH is full of people like us, Ryan had said. _More like full of assholes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Jeremy has a fractured rib for nearly three months because Ryan’s dick keeps poking it. And that’s the end! Yay! Tied off exactly how I wanted it to.
> 
> Stars to dust, may your path stay lit, little stars!! ✨

**Author's Note:**

> Codename guide:  
> Mercy King: Geoff Ramsey/Kingpin  
> Red Rider: Jack Patillo  
> The Wanderer: Ryan Haywood/the Vagabond  
> Mogar the Wolf: Michael Jones/Mogar  
> The Golden Kid: Gavin Free/Golden Boy  
> The Mexican Eagle: Ray Narvaez Jr./BrownMan


End file.
